Exhausted

Kaitlyn has always been an easy sleeper.  She slept in our room until about 7 months and then we transitioned her into her own room and own crib.  It took less than a week for her to learn to fall asleep by herself.  Since then, she's been a solid sleeper.  Even today, she loves sleep and if she's tired, she'll go to bed.

Samantha has never been a good sleeper.  This is likely my fault.  Since she was little I checked on her breathing constantly.  Like, every 2 minutes around the clock constantly.  I watched her breathing, if she held her breath for too long I would touch her to ensure she was breathing ok.  She hates going to sleep.  I can put her in her crib now at 9 and she would stay awake, just laying there screaming, or reading a book, or playing with her toes until well after midnight.  When it's time to wake up, she cries to go back to bed.  She pleads with you.  She just absolutely hates going to sleep.

A few months ago, we bought Samantha a toddler bed.  We set it up her in her room so she could get used to the idea and to try and make the transition easy.  I figured there was no point in rushing a transition.  I wouldn't use the crib with Charlotte until she was at least 6 months old anyhow.  Samantha has never tried to climb out of the bed, not even when she would scream and fight to get out.  We literally still had bumpers on the crib until 2 weeks ago. 

Samantha's crib has a drawer under it.  Yesterday, she decided to try and climb into her crib.  She used her toys and the drawer to try and climb up and in.  The drawer snapped under the weight or acrobats of what she was doing and she screamed bloody murder that she had a boo boo on her foot.  I found the teeniest, tiniest scratch, gave her some purple juice (low calorie Gatorade, she loves the stuff) and she was running and playing and trying it again a few minutes later.

So, I took the side off.  It's a transitional crib, so without the side, it's a toddler bed.  I told her again and again this was like a big girl bed now.  My plan was to let her sleep without the side on it for a week and then move all of her stuff into the toddler bed, and situate the crib for baby.  Then, she would think she was too big for it.  I really did think this would work.  She was just so excited about the bed, and kept asking to take a nap and cuddling under her blankets with her pillow.

Then bedtime happened.

All she did for the first hour was cry.  I tried giving her milk.  I tried finding Kaitlyn's old Dora blanket for her to snuggle with.  I refused to go in her room and she would keep going back to the bed and just crying hysterically.  Every 15 minutes, she would be at the door.  I was staying up to finish washing laundry (which was not bright after staying up the night before to watch Mississippi Burning, and getting only 5-6 hours of sleep), but I was so tired.

Normally, I would be totally fine with letting her cry and soothing herself.  I know that she is fine, I know that she feels love, and I know that she knows that crying gets attention.  But, Kaitlyn has school today and their rooms share a wall.  It just simply isn't fair to her.

At 10, I figured, I would just lay down on the floor next to her.  This seemed to slow down the crying.  She would go 15-20 minutes between crying and the outbursts were much shorter.  On a few occasions she was almost asleep then would almost wake up just to be ornery and cry.  By 12:30 am, I couldn't lay on her floor anymore.  My back hurt.  My head hurt.  My body was tired and I desperately needed sleep.  I kissed her and went into my room.  By the time I was out of her room she was too tired to cry.  And likely, too tired to sleep.

She fussed on and off through the night though.  Not really waking up, just mad, in her sleep.  I checked on her when I got out of the shower at 6 and she was fast asleep, bottom in the air, on the floor, between two perfectly good toddler beds.

Oh my I am going to need a nap today!