Saturday, January 28, 2006


nstead of sleeping lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

A little over a week ago, a friend of ours was killed in a tragic accident. Christine was an amazing person who was so filled with love and excitment. No one in her presense was a stranger. She was such a generous and caring person and I am terribly sad to know that she isn't with us anymore. She was so young and had so much more to experiance in life. My heart goes out to Chet and to her family who are experiancing a loss that I couldn't imagine.

I spent a lot of time thinking about her, and the memories I have of her. And it leaves me wondering, why didn't we spend more time together? If life is so busy you can't fit time in for friends, that what kind of life are you leading?

I realized, I waste a lot of time trying to "recruit" people who do not give a damn about me or my family into our lives. I spend so much energy trying to be the "better person" that I don't step back and ask myself, are they even worth it? Is the possibility of their friendship and their time worth me not having time for people who are truly friends? What is the point of me continuosly trying to befriend those that I think I should befriend, when they are the people that do not care about you one way or another? When it comes down to it, I think I (and we as in Dusty, Kaitlyn and I) am (are) better than that. We don't need people who don't need us. We are happy and at the end of the day, that is what matters.

We are incredibly blessed to have the people in our lives that we do.

I have an amazing husband. Dusty is there for me through everything. He supports me in everything regardless of whether or not he has the same opinion. He goes with me places (like the mall) even if there are a million other things he would rather do. He'll give up anything in the world if it means I can have something that will make me happy. He is an incredible father who changes diapers, clothes, brushes her hair, gives her baths and plays with her in a way I wouldn't even know how to. I truly lucked out with him.

We have 2 sets of parents that truly love us, and would do anything for us with a huge smile accross their face (especially if it involves babysitting). We see our parents all the time and enjoy having a close relationship with them. They love Kaitlyn so much. She gets to have two sets of grandparents who love to play with her, talk to her, sing to her, spoil her and treat her like the princess that she is. I hope that our child(ren) love us at least half as much as we love them.

We have Christy and Dennis who totally rock. They are the most generous and kind people. They would give you the pink polo off their back if it were cold, and support you in any decision you made. Even if it is not to give babies sugar. They are two incredible people raising an amazing daughter that I am so proud to have as my neice. I am really glad that not only do I get to have them in my life, but that they get to be in Kaitlyn's. They are amazing to her, and we are really lucky.

We have Christina, Samantha and David who are a funny bunch let me tell ya. David has even babysat Kaitlyn, all by himself. These three have a tough outer shell (well, maybe not David) but are so giving and so loving inside. They have spoiled Kaitlyn rotten, not just with material things, but with time, affection and the applause she so desperately loves to hear.

We have my aunt and uncle, Dusty's aunt Barbara and Uncle Dean, my cousin Felecia and long distance relatives (all the way in Alabama) that have really been there like a real family for us. They are supportive, fun and energetic and make us all feel so loved.

We have Chet. He is so flippin' funny. I swear, him and Dusty have to be from the same planet. I would bet money that Kaitlyn will end up marrying Chet's son, after he has one.

We have some amazing friends (like Jamie and Joel who are going to be terrific parents, I can't wait to see Jamie and pregnant and what their children will look like) who make life fun and exciting.

Now that this is forever long, I've learned something. It took 2 weeks of really hard thinking and "self-discovery" to come to my conclusion this morning. Family and friends are incredibly important in life. They are the cake you get to have and eat. The are the cherries on top of the sundaes. We have an amazing circle of friends and family. Those who don't want to be a part of it, don't need to be.

Which brings me to my new Year's Resolutions:

1. Stop trying to hard to make everyone else happy. If they aren't happy with me as me, then oh well.

2. Stop caring about the opinions of others. As long as Dusty, Kaitlyn and I are happy, then that's all that matters.

Yay, that was all really.