Monday, February 28, 2011

Why I love Charlie Sheen

First of all, because I think he's right.  About a lot of things.  Both of what he is saying and not saying.

Do I promote the use of drugs, hookers and excessive drinking?  Of course not.  But, it isn't really any of my business what someone, who is contributing to society, does with their life.  If he has the money for it, is still paying taxes, isn't hurting anyone and not judging others for not participating, who cares???

Here are some of Charlie Sheen's most recent quotes:

  • "I'm tired of pretending I'm not special."  <- ME too!!
  • "Like I'm not a bitchin' rock star from mars." <- continued after above quote, but again, very true!
  • "Defeat is not an option."  <- So true!  As soon as you accept defeat, you fail.  You cannot give up!
  • "Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists." <- Just think it's hilarious.  

If you're like me and only just now getting caught up with the whole Charlie Sheen debacle, there is so much more.  It is hysterical.  And so much of it is true.

I just do not get why he is, or really why any celebrity is ever, such a big news story.  It really makes me question where society is headed.  I wonder if maybe more attention was given to the constantly raising prices of gasoline, or the actual daily battles that people struggle with in the middle East, if those problems would still exist.  Typically we trash, bash and belittle a celebrity that doesn't stand up to our high moral codes (that, let's face it, many American's don't stand up to), they enter rehab, donate millions to charity and go from drinking the blood of their now ex-husband to adopting a child from every country and becoming idolized.  It's sickening. 

I think I'm at this point, where I don't care.  I don't care what celebrities do, because in the grand scheme of things, who really cares and who is it really affecting?  I'm sure in Libya, the last thing they are concerned with is whether or not Charlie Sheen trashed a hotel room that he has ample funds to pay for.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

My Newborn Must Have List

I really wanted to compile a list as Samantha exits each stage of life to remind myself (or help anyone else) of what was really needed.  Samantha has went from newborn to infancy and here is my list of everything I needed (and didn't need) with a newborn in the house.

Most everything you may notice has a lot to do with sleeping.  I've learned, a sleeping baby means sleeping parents, which means happy parents, which means a happy family.

The Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper.  While we do not want Samantha to sleep in our bed, I do want her so close to me that it feels that way.  I want her in arms reach, and this way we have the best of both worlds.

Maclaren Baby Rocker.  Samantha has reflux.  The only time she doesn't spit up is through the night.  I think part of that is because inside of the co-sleeper is her Maclaren baby rocker.  It is at the perfect angle for her, she sleeps so good through the night in it.  Lay her in anything else (car seat, bassinet, flat in the co-sleeper, anywhere) and she doesn't sleep nearly as well.

Tender Vibes Deluxe Rocking Bassinet.  Samantha loves it.  She lies flat in it, stays entertained, loves the vibration, the sound, and stares at the mobile.  She does great taking little naps in it and just cooing and trying so hard to roll over on her side.  When she was little little (how is she already so big?????) she slept so good in it!

Fisher Price Newborn Rock n Play Sleeper.  OMG, a friend lent this to us when Samantha had her first cold and it's AMAZING.  She loves it and sleeps so good in it through the day.  She stays at a great angle, it rocks so easily, folds up nicely, and she just loves it.  She lays in it and tries to sit up.  I worry that she is getting too big for it, her toes are starting to hang over.  It really is great.  And takes up minimal room.  If you didn't have the space for a co-sleeper or multiple sleeping places, you could easily take this from room to room, place to place.  Highly recommended.

Medela Pump In Style.  I heart this pump.  I may not need to use it too often, but there have been opportunities where it has been necessary, like when Samantha was sick and not feeling up to eating, it was great to keep my supply up.  And, it's so fast.  Literally, 7 ounces in less than 10 minutes.  Without pain, discomfort or anything else.

Aden and Anais Swaddle Blankets.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!  We are big swaddlers in this house.  But, because of the SIDS risk, we do worry about overheating.  Not a problem at ALL with these blankets.  They are so lightweight, stretchy and HUGE.  They look great in pictures, easy to swaddle with, great for her to lay on, and just absolutely amazing swaddle blankets.  I honestly went through a couple weeks where I nearly went out and bought more.  I could have easily had 8 or 12 of these.  

Gerber Cloth Diapers.  These are the best burp rags ever.  Enough Said.  

My Little Lamb Cradle 'n Swing.  While Samantha didn't love this as much as Kaitlyn loved hers, she certainly does love it.  It would help induce 3 hour naps.  My only drawbacks are how quickly they drain the batteries AND we had a recent problem with the swing part.  I went to put her in it and luckily noticed the screw on the ground.  I looked for where it could come from before putting her in it and I'm glad I did.  Turns out, it was the only screw holding on the cradle part of the swing.  I'm thankful that the screw didn't fall out when she was in the swing, or that I noticed it.  I'm working on resolving that issue before I put her back in it :)

Bright Stars Car Seat Toy.  She LOVES this.  These are her flower friends and she lights up as soon as she sees it.  It has saved us in the car, when we go places, and really just work to avert a meltdown.

In addition, some great things I loved were baby legs, cloth diapers (we've mostly used sunbabys and kawaii with a lot of success), having lots and lots of blankets, baby bjorn, the Chicco travel system, sleep sacks, and the num pacifiers.

Some things that haven't worked out or gotten much use this time are the boppy, the bebepod (like the bumbo), the snugli (she HATES it!), bottles, and all the beanies I had to have.

I hope that's it.  And that I didn't forget anything.  Then again, you never know :)

A much better week!

A crazy busy week, but a better one nonetheless!

Samantha seems to have made a full recovery!  It actually seems like she went straight from being sick into a full growth spurt and has demanded to eat every hour or so since Wednesday.  Day and Night.  She seems so much longer and her 3-6 month feetie jammies are definitely being tested!

Friday night, she had just eaten before we started dinner and she was crying with each bite I took.  I hadn't yet touched my baked potato, so I took a piece of the unflavored part, smashed it in my fingers and sat it on her lip. I expected her "push it out" reflex to kick in and her to push it out.  She didn't.  She used her tongue, put that piece in her mouth, chomped down on it and cried for more.  So, out to the store I went to get some organic (I want to try and stick to all organic for as long as possible and make her own food, but that's another subject for another day) rice cereal and it looks like we might start that today.  Ideally, I wanted to wait until she was 6 months, but I think she's more than ready now.

And!  She sprouted her first tooth!

You can only see the tip top, but it is SHARP!  Kaitlyn also lost a tooth on Monday, so I nearly had her convinced that the tooth fairy just plopped the tooth in Samantha's mouth, :P

Samantha is tripoding pretty good, I bet in another month she'll be sitting up on her own.  She's super smiley, loves her exerciser (and one foot touches the ground!) and wants to be sitting up whenever she can.  Kaitlyn is still the funniest thing in the world to her and she is really getting into her own routine.

Kaitlyn has been off school for the whole week for president's week!  She has went with me to the gym every day, had fun at a Girl Scouts meeting, been to John's Incredible Pizza with Carmen and Camaryn, been roller skating, lost a tooth, colored, read, been to celebrate the upcoming arrival of a new baby cousin, been super excited that her good friend became a big brother and informed us she is so ready for baseball season.

This morning we are getting ready to head out and sell Girl scout cookies for Kaitlyn's troop.  It's her last day off before heading to school tomorrow and I want to be sure she runs as much as possible to make getting back to an early bed time as easy as possible.  Wish me luck!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Cloth Diapering

When Samantha was sick, I was using disposable diapers.  It just made more sense, seeing how we went through 80 diapers in 4 days, to just use the disposables we had, throw away the diarrhea, then to use cloth, and wash, wash, wash in addition to taking care of a little sick girl.

Now that she is better (YAY!!!), we are back to cloth.  And, I have to tell you, I missed it.  I like cloth diapering.  When we first started, it was ok.  I didn't love it.  But, it was doable.  It made the most sense on so many levels and so I was bound and determined to make it work.  And let me tell you, I have no complaints.  I have actually started to prefer it to disposable diapers.  They are easy to use, they are super soft, they absorb more, they wash easily, they are way cuter, I don't have to worry about diaper covers with dresses, I don't have to look at tacky characters on them, they are comfortable on her and I don't ever have to worry about them exposing little gel crystals on her.  If we have another, I would so start cloth diapering younger.  It has just been so easy.  AND, I haven't once had to run out in the middle of the night, day or morning to grab diapers because I wasn't paying attention and we ran out.  I haven't had to deal with the stink of the diaper genie.  It has just been easy.

So, if you have EVER considered it, I recommend it.  Whole heartedly recommend it.  It's really that awesome.  And right now, there is this awesome giveaway for a whole set-up from bumGenius on KellyWels blog.  Be sure to check it out!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I think I see a light

At the end of the tunnel that is.  Having a sick 3 month old hasn't been exactly fun.  We just watch her, debate if we should take her in, watch her some more, debate a bit more, watch, debate, call the doctor, wait for the call back, decide to take her in, she has a change in symptoms, we wait and watch more and the cycle continues.  I hate cycles.  I like straight roads with straight answers.

We've been holed up in the house since the sickness started.  I've ventured out of the house to go to the gym, take and pick up Kaitlyn from school (which doesn't involve getting out of the car) and yesterday I was able to go to JoAnn's to get some things I needed to finish a baby shower gift for a friend.  We've missed roller skating lessons, parties, celebrations, getting Samantha's ear's pierced and good times.  But, it's all been totally worth it since it means we've been limiting her exposure to germs and kids we've hopefully both kept her from getting worse and from spreading it to others.

Our rules to be released from house arrest are: no vomiting or diarrhea for 24 hours and off the inhaler.  As of right now we're about 48 hours from vomiting, nearly 24 hours from diarrhea and still on the inhaler.  She takes it every 4 hours and up until today, we'd get to about 3 1/2 hours and she would start grunting.  Today we went about 8 hours before she started not necessarily grunting but having a little wheeze to her.

Kaitlyn is off of school all next week for president's week.  I'm really hoping we can meet those goals super soon because I had a lot planned for next week and I want to be able to do at least some of it.  But, of course, the most important thing is to have them healthy!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Bronchiolitis, that's what Samantha has been diagnosed with, officially.

After yesterday's appointment, the one where we were basically given the option of having her admitted or not.  Just waiting.  By 3:30 PM, I was ready to take her in.  I was literally getting ready to pack her bags.  She was vomiting both times she ate, she was tired, she was cranky, she hadn't peed since 7:30 AM, the diarrhea was back, and 2 hours after the inhaler, she was grunting again.  I was ready to take her in.

Then, I thought about how hard it was going to be for them to put the IV in.  I talked with Dusty.  We went back and forth, back and forth over what to do.  We decided to give her one more chance.  I would feed her.  If she kept it down for an hour, we would wait another hour, if she threw up, as soon as she did, she would go in.  I thought it was reasonable.  I nursed her.  She kept it down!  YAY!  An hour later, she nursed again.  Again she kept it down.  She wasn't acting as sleepy as she had been and finally she peed.  She kept food down all night.  She was happier than she had been and slowly the grunting started to spread out.

Today was more of the same.  I was instructed to call her doctor today to give him an update on how she was doing.  I waited until about 3 to give him a call.  I wanted to have an accurate description of the day to give him. He called back around 4:30 to listen over the phone to her and talk about how she was doing.

He said that it was clearly bronchiolitis and it will linger.  He said that we have to continue to watch her closely because at the point she will either get better, or many kids take a turn for the worse after they start to get better.  We have to continue to monitor her breathing, and watch for dehydration.  Right now she is going about 3 1/2 hours after the inhaler before the grunting starts.  She is smiley, but you can also tell she is miserable.  Poor baby is hoarse sounding and the cough is just awful sounding.

His recommendation is to keep her home as much as possible as it works its way out of her body.  Today, I had no choice but to take her and Kaitlyn to the store.  I had put it off until last Friday and HAD to go then, we were running low on food.  Then, Samantha worsened and I decided to stay home with her.  Especially since she has only once ever taken more than 2 ounces by bottle and she proceeded to throw that up less than an hour after drinking it.  By today, if we didn't go, we would be eating Top Ramen and lemonade for dinner lol.  Normally, I spend an hour at the store, easy.  I compare prices and I get what we need.  I also make Kaitlyn walk (I have a strict, no strollers after 3 unless it's more than a mile of walking in a short time rule) normally.  Today I broke all the rules.  I got a stroller her and Samantha could sit in, let her play her DS, was in and out in 40 minutes, $300 later.  But, our cupboards and fridge are both full!  So, I shouldn't have to go back for a while.  She is allowed to go to the hospital (of course lol), with me to the gym (since it's just Dusty and Daphne who go and she stays in the stroller), and we have to use the pick up/drop off line to take Kaitlyn to and from school.  She's disappointed, but no roller skating this week :(

So, we're keeping our fingers crossed that the worst is over and we're on our way to recovery!

Great, as I was about to hit send, I could hear/see the diarrhea coming back :(  Boo!!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Our Valentine's Day

I had big hopes and lots of plans for today.  I posted about it before, all the fun stuff we'd do to celebrate and enjoy Valentine's day.  I like Valentine's day, do I think it's created by Hallmark and chocolate companies?  Absolutely.  Does it mean that you need to spend $$ to enjoy and celebrate it?  Absolutely not.

I created these Valentine's cards for our family.

They were ready to pick up Friday night.  All 40 envelopes are addressed and stamped.  They just needed to be stuffed.  I didn't really get out of the house this weekend.  Samantha wasn't feeling well and I didn't want to take her out or leave her.  They'll be sent, just a tad bit late ;)

So, Monday, Valentine's Day, morning I called to set up a sick appointment for Samantha.  I explained that it all started with some sneezing last Sunday, the 6th, coughing started Sunday and diarrhea followed and over the weekend, vomiting joined the party.  Her doctor could see her at 11:10.

After vomiting all the night before and all morning, Samantha was tired.  She slept while I cleaned Kaitlyn's room, woke up, ate, threw up, and was in a good mood, so good I even got to snap some pictures of her first Valentine's day.  Then we were off.  We were less than a mile out and she had already thrown up twice, so violently I had to pull over.  We made it to her appointment 10 minutes late as a result of the stops and of course waiting on the elevator since right at that moment the team decided they needed to clean both of them???

At the appointment her doctor noticed her constant grunting.  She was working really hard to breath, but her pulse ox was at 97, so she was doing a good job getting enough oxygen.  She was rattly in her lungs, she had only gained 6 ounces since her appointment 2 1/2 weeks ago (I know she had gained more, but obviously she lost it) and she just looked sick.  So, he did a breathing treatment in the office to see how she did.  Since there wasn't much improvement, he sent us to get her chest xrays and blood work and said he would call us with the plan.

Chest xrays were not that bad.  I remember getting them with Kaitlyn a bit older and having to use the restraint.  I hate that restraint.  Samantha sat up great (with the help of me holding her elbows) for both xrays and while she was fussy from being woken up for it, she was fine after and went straight back to sleep.  Then we headed to the lab.  It was miserable.

It took 3 different lab assistants 2 draws to not get enough blood for the tests.  On the second draw, they were in there moving the needle all around trying to "catch" the vein.  Um, not cool.  They got barely enough for one of 3 necessary tests and sent us to the hospital for them to try.  They kept saying it's because she didn't stay still enough, but I know that's not what it was.  Note to others, just because you're whispering to each other doesn't mean the mom 6 inches away can't hear you.  They couldn't feel the vein, she has chubby arms and it's that simple.  They went where they thought it should be and missed.

The hospital wasn't any better.  I'm sure you could hear her screaming through the hospital.  4 techs, 3 more pokes and finally there was enough blood for the tests.  Poor baby.  Oh, and another note to others, if there is a 3 month old baby, screaming until she throws up with a tourniquet around her arm and you're digging around in her arm, don't pause to talk to the guy you want to desperately to notice you.  You will have a really mad mom that will shoot you daggers with her eyes and will not hesitate to report you to your supervisor.

After the ordeal of lab work, we headed to pick up Kaitlyn from school.  From there we rushed to the dentist to have Kaitlyn's cavity filled.  Let me tell you, I remember being a kid and a cavity was like the worst thing ever.  The dentist made you feel bad, the shots hurt, the drill would scar you for life (I still can't listen to a drill!) and it was just such a miserable experience.  Not anymore.  Kaitlyn went in, sat in the chair, picked out a movie and sunglasses, they asked if she was excited, put orange gas on her nose, gassed her up, gave her some shots, used a water drill, she was done in 10 minutes.  Her punishment?  A toy, a balloon and an OTTER POP!  Seriously???  Um, I was going to ban sugar for a month as a punishment, but hey a blue otter pop is good too?

The doctor called with the test results.  Her white blood count was elevated.  Which we expected with a virus.  Her Carbon monoxide levels were elevated, which we expected with the difficulty breathing, her liver tests were abnormal, which is consistent with a virus and her electrolytes were abnormal.  Again, consistent with being slightly dehydrated, which is consistent with the virus.  Everything was boderline between going in and staying home.  So, we decided to go the least invasive route for getting better.  An inhaler we give her every 4 hours.  2 puffs, a lot of better breathing.

Last night, our poor princess had no desire to eat.  I kinda forced it on her.  She threw up.  She likes the inhaler though.  Through the night, she only got up a couple times, and mostly when I saw she would toss even the slightest bit, I would grab her and try to feed her.  While she normally nurses for about 10 minutes, she would go maybe 3-4 before she would fall back to sleep.  I could do the inhaler without her ever waking up.

This morning, she woke up around 7:30.  I fed her.  While nursing she threw up some.  Not a lot.  So, I kept trying.  She ate for a while.  I sat her down to help Kaitlyn tighten her pants.  In that time she projectile vomited.  All over her bassinet.  There were puddles of it.  So, I quickly changed her, got the rest of the way dressed, got Kaitlyn finally ready and we all got in the car.

I dropped Kaitlyn off and headed straight to the doctors office.  I teeter tottered between taking her straight tot he ER, especially since our appt wasn't until 9:15 and it was 8:20, but I opted to go to the doctor's office instead.  He saw us immediately, which was nice.

Her weight was exactly the same.  She has had 2 wet diapers since noon yesterday.  Her pulse ox was at 93. No real changes.  We were given an option of admitting her or waiting it out.  I chose waiting it out.  He said that if I were showing signs of being tired, stressed or anything, he would admit her.  They would basically do what we're doing now, but add in some IV fluids and change the breathing treatments up.  So, we are going to keep her home for now.  Watch her.  Wait it out.  I've been so engorged from her not eating, I pumped 7 oz in 6 minutes, in hopes that she would get the fatty hind milk if she choses to eat.

Hopefully the rest of the day goes smoothly!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Good Friends

I have been really blessed with some amazing friends.  Some I've known for half of my life or longer and some it just feels that way.

When you're a kid a friend is someone who you share your snacks with, confide your secrets in, play games with and who helps you to learn the social skills you need in life.  When you grow up, some of that is still true.  While you may not be sharing your peanut butter and celery, you are sharing in the little things.  And really, the little things are what matters.

They say when your life has a big change, you start re-evaluating things.  You start re-thinking your choices and re-examining how you live.  I think everyone does this several times in their life.  It's how we grow, it's how we mature and become better people (usually lol).  It's how we evolve.

Since late in my pregnancy with Samantha I find myself back into that familiar place.  That familiar feeling and questioning of what is important, who really matters and what life is now.  It can be a really rewarding journey to take yourself on, a really uplifting way to remind yourself of who is important and how lucky you are to have them in your lives, and also a bit disheartening way to realize that sometimes people drift apart, go down different paths and sometimes those you like to think of as great friends just simply aren't.  Not that they aren't good people that you enjoy the company of, but not necessarily your closest friends.

I think it is really important to realize who your closest friends are, not so you can keep a score card or anything like that, but so that you not only remind yourself of who is truly there for you but also so you know where to direct your energy.  Which I know sounds bad, but I think of it is this way, if I have friends that are always there for us, who are amazing and supportive, I want to be sure that I'm being a good friend to them.  I want to make sure that I am as good of a friend to them as they are to me, and with only so many hours in the day, it's impossible to be a great friend to everyone you know.  It just isn't a reasonable expectation.  And I do think having quality friends matters a whole lot more than saying you have a ton of them.

A good friend is one who even if they aren't physically in the room with you, you know they are there for you.  You know that you can talk to them at anytime about anything in the world and talk honestly and in confidence.  A good friend is one who thinks of the little things (like when you're hugely pregnant, don't feel like going anywhere and they take your daughter to the pumpkin patch and not only get her a pumpkin, but one for her brother in heaven and sister in your belly too, or the one who knows you're going stir crazy at home with your premature infant and drives over with your favorite food, or the one who travels all the way to  just walk for your lost baby, and the ones who you are always comfortable with to be goofy, silly, ridiculous all without judging you or thinking of what they will say about you later to everyone else).

This year, 2011, quality is going to triumph over quantity in every aspect of life.  It is so possible to be in a room of people that you know and feel incredibly lonely.  When you are in that same room with a handful of good friends, you never feel alone.

Thank you to the most amazing and supportive friends a girl good ask for.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Giveaway Winner!

Congrats Karen!  Send me an email and I'll send out your prize!

Thanks to all who participated!  I've been working on a blog for a couple days, but 2 sick kiddos is making it hard lol.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Hey, Check out this AWESOME giveaway!

Laura Winslow Photography is doing a $2600.61 giveaway on her blog to 1 lucky winner!

Be sure to check it out!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

3 Months Old!

That's right, Samantha has been with us for a quarter of a year already!

Samantha's Weight: 13 lbs 12 ounces!!!  I weighed her 4 times just to be sure!

Samantha's Height: 24.25 inches

Samantha is growing like crazy and developing so much personality.  She has her favorite toy, a flower rattle with crinkle petals, she plays with it whenever she can.  She loves to giggle and play and still finds Kaitlyn absolutely hysterical.  Her other favorite is her car seat friends, her play bar that lights up on her car seat.  Her eyes just lights up when she sees her friends.  She also loves her baby exerciser, and will sit in it and play so good.

Her hair is still getting lighter, but all there.  Her eyes are bright, alert and a beautiful shade of brown.  She loves to have her hands in her mouth and usually keeps them shoved in there.  She has another cold, it started earlier this week and has been so much worse than her other one.  While she's mostly happy and smiley, she's  also so miserable and congested.

Samantha wants to talk so badly.  She tries so hard and mimics everything we do. She says oh wow oh all the time and daddy keeps trying to get her to say dada, but it just isn't happening.  She laughs so hard at him though.

Samantha is in 3-6 month clothing and has been for a couple weeks now and is quickly growing out of them.  She is just growing so darn fast!  We've been cloth diapering for about a month now and while it was a learning process the first few days, it's going great now.  It's so much easier than I thought it would be and Kaitlyn loves being able to pick out Samantha's diapers every morning and diaper change.

Samantha still spits up a lot, but we're getting used to it being a part of our life with her :)  She also still likes her paci, but not as much and not as often.  Mostly right before falling asleep.

Samantha is a great sleeper.  She does like to sleep with a blanket though, she grabs onto it with both hands and cuddles so tight with it.  We have to watch her constantly to make sure she isn't putting it in front of her face.  She is also on the apnea monitor at night, it has definitely helped Dusty and I sleep so much better.  And we've had no "real" alarms, just false alarms to tell us her leads are off or the battery is dying.

She hates being on her tummy but has gotten so strong on it!  She hasn't rolled over yet, but we have been really encouraging her lol.  She sleeps in our room still, next to us, but not in our bed.  And she LOVES the dark.  She hates sleeping with the light on.

I'm sure I'll think of more to tell you about soon :)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

How to ruin a shower...

There I am, enjoying a nice hot shower while Samantha naps peacefully.  When all of a sudden I heard a loud bang, followed by several more.  I stood there, in the shower, wondering if I remembered to lock the front door.  And telling myself it's just the wind knocking the tree branches on the roof of the house.  Just like the scratching I heard last night.  It's nothing.

Then, my mind goes there.  You know, the worst scenarios your brain can think of.  All I can see is a group of men dressed like overweight ninjas (no idea why my mind went to overweight ninjas instead of normal ninjas, but I digress) stealing my baby because I didn't lock the door.  They've been stalking us on behalf of a crazy lady who wants to steal our baby to raise as her own, and just waiting for an opportunity when the wind is gusting and I forget to lock the door to steal her.  I literally shake my head and toss out the far fetched idea.

Then, I heard it again.  And of course, at this point, the out of shape ninjas have vanished from my overactive imagination and this time the big tree in the backyard has fallen, landed on our house, crushed through the roof and Samantha is lying stuck under it.  Had to be what it is.

I brush off that also psycho thought by remembering where she is in her bed in the living room and knowing the tree wouldn't fall like that because of what direction the wind is going.

Then, the dogs start barking.  And of course, it's to alert me to danger Lassie style.  Not at all because they are crazy and probably either terrified of the wind or chasing random cats.  Of course not, that would be too easy.

Although I haven't washed up, brushed my teeth or conditioned my hair, I know I'm going to have to go check it out or go crazy in the shower with sheer panic.  I turn off the shower, dripping wet throw on a towel, contemplate grabbing Dusty's gun just in case the fat ninja theory is true, decide against it because I don't want my delusions to cause rust on the gun, and go check it out.  I had not locked the door, did so, but no fat ninjas to be found, check Samantha who is sleeping in the living room and the tree is still standing in the backyard.  A big branch, however had fallen.  

I run to get back in the shower.  But, it was too late, I was too cold and nothing was going to warm me.

However, I eased my thoughts about ninjas and fallen trees.  And now I'm cleaned up lol.  And don't lie, I know I'm not the only one with crazy delusions that run out of control while I'm in the shower.

Some rants for the week

I know it's only Tuesday, and a bit early in the week for rants, but it looks like it's that kind of week :P

  • If your dog is so big that when you are driving and it is sitting on your lap that you have to strain your neck to see out the window, restrain your dog in the car.  You are seriously an accident waiting to happen!
  • If it is cool enough outside for you to be standing out of the school at 8 AM with a jacket on and still rubbing your arms, DO NOT send your kid to school in flip flops and a tank top.  NOT cool
  • If I make it to the school nearly 30 minutes before school lets out to get a good spot in the pick-up line and then WAIT in the car for those 30 minutes with an infant, do not think for even one second that I am going to let you cut in, when you show up 2 minutes after the bell rings.  You have not paid your dues, go around and get to the end of the line.  I see you do it EVERYDAY and I'm not one of those suckers that's gonna let you in.  This particular car got there as the bell rang, blocked all the traffic behind them and waited for someone to let them in. I get there 30 min early to be this far back, yet they think they should get to bypass all that???  Screw that.  The car behind me let them in.  Grrrrrr.....  

  • If you're a smoker, that's totally fine.  It's your life, your lungs, your heart and whatever.  But, it is totally, 100% not even close to acceptable to smoke outside of the 1st graders classroom.  It is a little counterproductive to preach to these kids over and over and over again how bad drugs are to then have one of the moms of a well liked kid to be smoking right outside the classroom while laughing her head off.  Not Cool.
  • STOP expecting to get more than you give.  I do not understand how people can put forth such little effort and minimal thought towards someone and then throughly and seriously expect that same person to put forth a ton of effort and thought towards you.  It's pretty darn rude.
  • And my last rant of the day, being a mom is not a competition.  At the end of the day, there is no such thing as a better mom, your windows being cleaner than mine does not mean your kids are loved more or better taken care of.  Just as my laundry being done fast or more frequently than yours does not mean my kids are going to grow up to be better than yours.  I am so sick of all the one upmanship that is constantly surrounding moms in everyday life, in the media and just in society in general.

Whew, I feel better lol.  I hope you enjoy your Tuesday!

Monday, February 7, 2011

How about a Giveaway?

Samantha is nearly 3 months old, Valentine's Day is next week, my mom had her final breast cancer surgery, Kaitlyn got the character of the month award at school Friday, I have an amazing husband, incredible friends, love is in the air and I'm feeling generous.

In light of all that, I'm giving away a nursing cover and case perfect for spring!!  I'm going to randomly select a winner on Saturday morning so all entries must be received by Friday at midnight.

To enter:

1. Follow this blog, comment that you are doing so.

Optional Additional Entries

2. Like Simple * Lovely * Baby on FB, comment that you are doing so
3. Share this link with friends, comment that you did :)
4. Visit Simple * Lovely * Baby on etsy and comment what you'r favorite item is
5. Share your can't live without baby item!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Holidays and Milestones with a Rainbow Baby

I remember going shopping for Christmas gifts after Matthew died and passing all the cute little Baby’s 1st Christmas stuff.  Oh, how I wanted to buy one.  Even more, I wanted a baby at home to wear it.  I bought a stocking and a bib and took it to the cemetery.  All of Matthew’s first holidays were spent there.  He never had the chance to wear any of the Halloween costumes I had bought him, not the pumpkin bunting or the pure white tuxedo so he could be prince Charming among his sister Snow White and his cousins dressed as princesses.

When your babies grow into kids and you look back on their baby days, you remember a lot of little snapshots in your brain, many of them are of day to day life and so many of them are of their firsts.  Their first smile, their first step, their first taste of food.  How they reacted to peas and carrots or how they stuck their tongue out when they first figured out how to pull up to stand.  With Matthew, we didn’t get many of those moments.  We had his first bottle, his first trip home, his cooing and his first Labor Day, but none of the big ones.  When I look back, some of my most favorite times with him are when we were just cuddling  and playing on the bed.  I tried so hard to get a smile out of him, I sang, I played, I was silly.  And it never happened.

We have plenty of pictures of Matthew.  Over 600 in the span of his 70 days.  But, not all great.  And really, not close to enough to satisfy me.

Having Samantha here almost makes me miss him more.  It is like a constant reminder of exactly what we missed out on, the holidays, the milestones, the memories, the growth.  All of it.  I can tell you how grateful I am for the time we had together until I’m blue in the face or my fingers bleed from typing it, but it doesn’t change how disappointed and saddened I am that we didn’t have more time.  Saddened that we didn’t get to make more memories, take more pictures or share the joy of more holidays.

When Samantha was a bit smaller, I could hug her tight and remember exactly what it felt like to hug Matthew.  But now that she weighs in a good 3 pounds more than he ever did, I have to go back to relying on my memories.

While nothing can ever take away the hurt of losing him or fill the gaping hole he made when he left, I am absolutely determined not to forget the lessons we learned from his short life.  I don’t want to take any of it for granted, I want to have endless memories of us all cuddling, laughing and playing, I want to enjoy each and every holiday with my family, I want to have quality time with the people that truly love us, I want to be able to purchase a Baby’s 1st bib for every holiday and have a real live baby at home to wear it.

We have been blessed to have Samantha here with us for her first Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s so far.  Next up is Valentine’s Day, and boy does Kaitlyn have a fun day planned for us.  She began planning a couple weeks ago when our Family Fun magazine came in the mail (thanks again Mary!), she picked out all the crafts she wants to do, the appetizers she wants (hello heart shaped hot dogs) and what we can have for dinner.  The only kink in the road is that she has to have her cavity (her first L ) filled that afternoon after school, but we’ll still be home in time to beat Daddy, and to get the appetizers ready and the cupcakes in the oven so we can decorate them while our personal pizza’s cook.  Valentine’s Day is all about love, and what better way to spend it than making memories with the ones you love and celebrating Samantha’s 1st at home with quality time.  While Matthew may not be with us in person, he is always in our hearts and he has a part in every decision we make.  He is forever loved.