For the last few weeks, I've been thinking about my resolutions. What about me do I want to change? What about me do I not like?
There are of course some easy things: I would like to gain weight, I would like to travel more. But in actuality, those are resolutions, they are goals. I have already resolved to gain weight with minimal sucess regardless of the thousands of calories I consume daily.
When it comes down to it, I like me. I used to be obsessed and worried about how the world saw me. I would change who I was, I would bite my tongue, and I would deal with a lot of unnecessary "crap" so that I could be liked. This past year, I learned something. I made a realization. Those that I am trying to make like me are ones that think they know me. They believe they have me all figured out and I'm a royal bitch. Do you know what I learned? Those that think they know me typically know the least about me. Instead, they are part of a group that decides what people are like ahead of time and them contort every situation to mold that person into their perception. I do not need people like that to like me, so I gave up. I figure, I fill my time with enough, why add to it. And, I've continued that philosophy with new people in my life as well as old throughout the entire year. Life is a lot less stressful this way.
There are so many things about myself that I learned this year. I may not be perfect, but I enjoy working my way to that point. I have an amazing husband who I love more and more every day. I have the great joy and honor of being the mommy to an incredible little girl who makes me giggle all throughout the day. I am surrounded by family and friends that are always there for me. I learned that I do nice things because I like too, it brings me joy. I like being busy. I enjoy a challenge. My favorite times invlove being surrounded my the people I lvoe. I don't have to go out everyday. I enjoy hot chocolate as much as a hard drink. And Barney just might not be the devil, he just doesn't have to be my friend too lol!
When it comes down to it, I don't have any regrets this year. I'm happy, healthy and so is my family. What more could I ask for? I know that if I were told I had a terminal disease and had 30 days to live, there isn't much I would do differently. I think I am living my life how it was meant to be lived and I am happy.
I will say this, without the love, support, and friendship of those in my lives, I don't know that I would be able to say the same. Thank you so much for all that you have done and said.
This New Years, I resolve to be me. I resolve to not change anything, however I do goal myself o gain 20 or so pounds ;)