Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The most wonderful time of the year

We are literally just days away from Christmas.  The most magical time of the year.  The time when dreams come true, family is together and your heart is warmer and just filled with cheer.

Christmas still has its rough spots for us.  I imagine it always will.  No parent should ever have to take a stocking to a cemetery for their little one instead of opening it with their sisters and marveling over what Santa brought.  Our house is always going to be missing one very important member, and that is really heartbreaking on a lot of levels. 

Christmas is a time when family is supposed to be together, sharing together, enjoying eachother's company, and experiencing the holidays together.  From toddlerhood, we've always taught Kaitlyn that time with family is far more important than anything else at Christmas time, birthdays and holidays in general.  It far surpasses the need for gifts, holiday lights, or shiny wrapping paper.  It is literally what the holidays are about.

We are truly blessed.  Kaitlyn, Samantha and Matthew are literally sounded by so much family that loves them.  Aside from the massive amounts of stuff I know they are going to open, I know they are going to have so much fun this Christmas.  Kaitlyn is already so excited about seeing Camaryn on Christmas Eve and has been literally itching to tell her what she is getting lol.  I can already imagine them running wild through their Nana and Papa's house, being loud, excited, playing and sharing secrets.  They are really lucky to have eachother, and the bond they share is so close to sisters that sometimes they even insist on fighting like them haha.  And while I haven't bought the girls Christmas dresses (I know they aren't as comfortable, and they have so many Christmas outfits they don't need them), imagining them running through the house in their pretty clothes really does inspire me to go shopping!  And Samantha is so in love with the Christmas lights and decorations that she just smiles all the time.  Christmas Eve is going to be truly magical.

Christmas Day is going to be so amazing.  I know Kaitlyn is going to go insane for what Santa brings each of them.  I'm excited just thinking about how excited and happy she is going to be.  After we exchange our family gifts, open our stockings, tear through wrapping paper, we'll shower and dress and visit the cemetery before heading to my parents house, where it will be filled with people!  And this year Kaitlyn has been talking non-stop about her cousin Malia being there all day!!  She is going to play, play, and play some more.  I'm sure she'll karate kick Auntie Sammie, pester Uncle Brian, convince Grandma and Uncle Davey that they must play trouble, help Grandma in the kitchen, tell Auntie Beth and Sharon a story, follow Reid around, talk Auntie Jamie and Auntie Christina's ears off and try to punch Grandpa.  Considering how much fun she has every Sunday, I know Christmas is going to be amazing!!

Hopefully either Sunday, or early in the week we'll get to see Auntie Jamie, Uncle Joel and Carmen before they head off to Tennessee to ring in the new year!  Kaitlyn ADORES Carmen and talks about her all the time.  Whenever Kaitlyn outgrows a toy, she thinks it is perfect for Carmen, she goes through her DVDs and is constantly pointing out ones she thinks Carmen would love.  She adores that kid lol.

We are so incredibly blessed.  I am blessed that I married a man who would swim through shark infested waters to bring me a glass of lemonade and then go back and do it again when I decide I want a Dr. Pepper instead.  He really and truly takes care of us, he is constantly putting us first and the most selfless person I know.  I am blessed that with this amazing man we have created three beautiful children that I have had the distinct pleasure of holding, kissing, rocking, nursing, cuddling, changing and loving on.  And while nothing can take away the pain of saying good-bye to Matthew, we are blessed that we have two precious little girls to occupy our time, thoughts and arms until we are all reunited again.  I am blessed that Dusty works hard and has our entire relationship outside of the house so I can have the luxury of working inside the home.  We are blessed that we have a home with more than enough room for the 4 of us and our "stuff" and that it's warm and filled with yummy food all year long.  We are blessed that we are surrounded by amazing family and incredible friends who truly care for us and make an effort to not only be a part of our lives, but to enrich our lives with their presence.  Family and friends who sincerely care for our children and are there for all of life's ups and downs, the cheerful birthday parties and the somber balloon releases.  Those who celebrate the joyous occasions with us and those who support us through the grief.  The only thing that could make life any better is for Matthew to be here.  We are truly blessed.  Thank you to the friends and family who have made a difference in our lives, we only hope we have done the same for you.  May your holiday season be merry and bright.

1 comment:

AKD said...

This is an absolutely lovely post. It is so important to see our blessings, despite the pain. Happy holidays to you all.