Normally, one would feel done having babies when their family felt complete. But, what if that doesn't happen? What if your family never feels complete?
When we were trying to conceive little miss Samantha, I thought that having her would help our family feel complete and we'd feel done. I felt as though we should be raising 2 children, so if we were given that opportunity, all would be well.
Well, guess what? Now, i feel as though I should be raising 3. And I should be. I should have a 6 year old, 3 year old and 5 week old running and crying through the house at 6 in the morning. Two girls and a boy. But, we aren't. We're raising 2 girls, a 6 year old and a 5 week old and missing our 3 year old son.
So, then, the thought enters your mind that maybe if you have one more, then you'll feel complete. And if it's a boy and you are given the opportunity to raise a son after having that chance ripped away from you, but, it wouldn't replace our opportunity to raise Matthew, our first son, our second child. And nothing is going to fix that. Nothing is going to fill that void.
Which leaves the question, if you will always be missing a part of your family and one of your children, how can your family ever feel complete? And if it never feels complete, how can you know you are done? I can imagine that even if we became the Duggars, had 18 more kids, we would still be imcomplete, Matthew would still be gone and missed.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a crystal ball and know what the future holds?