Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Grieving with a Rainbow Baby

The term rainbow baby is often used to describe a baby born after the heartache of losing a child or baby.  It represents a beautiful miracle that takes place after the storm of saying good-bye to your baby.  But, a rainbow baby does not take away the fact that the storm happened in the first place.

This is a picture of rainbow over New Orleans, taken December of 2009.

4 years earlier, the city was struck by Hurricane Katrina:

And the city is still rebuilding.  People are still out of work, still living in FEMA trailers, still struggling to get back some peace in their lives.  They smile, the have joyous, happy moments, there are rainbows above them, but it does not take away the damage the storm did.  It does not take them back to their lives before the storm.  It does not change the heartache they have suffered or the tragedy they lived through.  But, it does bring a smile to their face, it does show beauty in a time of ugliness and despair.  It is afterall, a rainbow.

Samantha is our rainbow baby.  As of today, she has been alive longer than Matthew lived.  The past 10 weeks have flown by and it reminds me, painfully, what a short amount of time we had with Matthew.  It also reminds me of how many kisses, hugs and laughs we were able to share with him.  He is truly missed.  Every single moment of every single day.  He should be here with us.  He should be helping Kaitlyn make Samantha laugh, and there isn't anything I wouldn't have done, would do or given to have him here with us.

Happy 10 week birthday Samantha.  We miss you so much Matthew.

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