Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Did the feminist movement do this to us?

Did it pit us moms against eachother?  Did it make it take away our freedom to chose what is best for us?  Did it turn our society into one that cares more about material objects than about quality of life?  Did it take away our right to be a full-time  mommy?

I am grateful to the feminist movement.  I always find it sad that in our world, you have to fight so hard for equality, I mean how is any one person worth more than another just based on their DNA.  But, that's another topic for another day...

I sometimes think and wonder about this, at what point did our society become so "thing" driven?

It is as though because women were given this ability to work and make the same income as men, they all felt the need to rush out and do it.  Many one income houses became two income houses, which meant more expendable income, which eventually led to bigger houses, newer cars and more stuff to fill both.

And soon, living like the Jefferson's became the norm.  We became a society hell bent on each family having the newest car, the biggest house, taking the best vacations and having the nicest things.  And when that became the norm, the choice to work women fought so hard for was no longer a choice.  It was an expectation.

Our society made this shift where it was expected that women would wait until later in life to have children, then when they had children, their career was such a big part of their life that they would be expected to return back as soon as possible while their children were enrolled in the best possible daycare.  The choice to cut back, to spend less, to stay at home with your child was taken away by society.  Doing so meant you got the raised eyebrow, whispered about; "why doesn't she just go to work", "can you believe she just sits at home all day with bon bons while HE has to go out and work", "did you hear how so and so is driving a 5 year old car because his wife is too lazy to get a job."

I'm sad to say that our society has become one where everyone seems to have forgotten how important and how hard it is to raise a child.

I completely understand that there are many women who love to work, whose children absolutely thrive in day care, who love the freedom of that second income and who sincerely love their careers and what it brings to their lives.  I have a lot of respect for you, I am really glad that the feminist movement gave you that choice, gave you that option and gave you that happiness.

What frustrates me is that the feminist movement took away the choice to be a stay at home mom.  This is what I love to do.  I thrive on it.  I love playdates, spending the day lounging together and all the happiness that it brings me.  And I am perfectly happy with not having new stuff.  I will gladly trade off having a new car, a bigger house that we own, more lavish vacations and nicer things if it means I get to spend every single minute of the day with my kids.

At the end of the day, we are all moms.  We are all fighting to do what is right for our families and our kids.  We are all trying to raise healthy and happy members of society and we are all making sacrifices in one way or another.  I hope that soon we reach a place in society where we are not measured for what we have or do not have, but for who we are and what we do.


Jen said...

Well said Denise!!!

Christina said...

I am proud to call myself a feminist and a stay at home mom. I've never felt that my options were limited or that my choices have been judged. Maybe I've just been lucky, because I am aware that this is a hot button issue. It's a shame that so many women can't be more supportive of one another.