Some ramblings...

In 2008 and 2009 I got past August through the holidays with my friend Tylenol PM. It helped me get through the nightmares, flashbacks and nights where I couldn't sleep.

In 2010, I was pregnant with Samantha and in 2011 she wasn't quite one, not sleeping through the night and Tylenol PM just wasn't an option those years.

I figured out ways to get through the nights. Sometimes sleeping and sometimes not. I also learned some ways to be able to stop clenching my teeth when I got upset. Which, helped my jaw out tremendously.

Most of those techniques had been working so far this year. I was still getting through nights, not always sleeping, but doing ok.

The past week hasn't been as easy. Balancing the schedule of a nearly 8 year old, keeping up with a nearly 2 year old and carrying a 3-3.5 lb baby in my belly has left me exhausted. And, horrible nightmares gave ensued. The kind that keep you up trying not to blink for hours at night, the kind where I wake up soaked in sweat. The other night, I felt so sweaty, I had to convince myself my water hasn't broken. I've spent a lot of time the past several days from 2-5 am watching infomercials on the food network and browsing the Internet on my iPad. One of these nights I'm going to treat myself to some unisom and try to get caught up.

In other news, both girls are keeping us busy.

Kaitlyn hit her toe on her bookcase while doing flips in her room. Her toenail turned dark black. Dusty told me I needed to poke a hole in it but didn't. 6 months later and there has been minimal growth. It was still ugly. And super dark.

I was cutting her nails Saturday when I noticed the toe was worse. A lot worse. And she was in pain. The nail had split horizontally down the middle. That dark black blood was trying to ease out. The toenail had lifted. I freaked out. Dusty tried to look close at it. We couldn't see a new nail growing.

I called the advice nurse who suggested she be seen immediately to rule out infection, bone fracture or nerve damage. I took her to the ER. It was busy. Lots of preteen boys with concussions. There wasn't an infection, they didn't think it was broken and suggested we should really have it removed. But, with her age, they felt more comfortable with her pediatrician or a podiatrist removing it. We taped it up and went on our way.

Sunday, we taped up her toe and headed to Cheer Showcase. She did awesome. Her team was amazing and you could see how hard they have been working.

This morning, we went to her dr. He doesn't think we should remove it. It would cause her a lot of pain and likely mean she would be off her feet for 3 days. So, we will keep soaking and taping it until it falls off. The best news was that there is a fresh toenail under there!

Samantha is now repeating everything she hears. She is really sensitive to crying and scary things. Even cute little scarecrows. We've had no improvements on her bowel movements, but she has an appointment with a new GI next month.

The girls' birthday invites have been completed and sent. Since I will be undoubtably more tired and uncomfortable by next month, we did scale back. A lot. Instead of my normal 40+ invites per party, I limited myself to 15 per party. Kaitlyn got an extra 4 for school friends. We are trying to stick to family mostly. Of course, I'm so excited about decorating for both and presents.

We've decided on Samantha's gifts, but only one of Kaitlyn's. It is so hard trying to come up with two back to back great gifts. I've also ordered their Christmas outfits. I just need to get Charlotte a white velour jumper. Wish me luck. I finished both girls' fall outfits and am just waiting for us to have time for the pumpkin patch so I can get done pictures and make some fall cards.