I have been really blessed with some amazing friends. Some I've known for half of my life or longer and some it just feels that way.
When you're a kid a friend is someone who you share your snacks with, confide your secrets in, play games with and who helps you to learn the social skills you need in life. When you grow up, some of that is still true. While you may not be sharing your peanut butter and celery, you are sharing in the little things. And really, the little things are what matters.
They say when your life has a big change, you start re-evaluating things. You start re-thinking your choices and re-examining how you live. I think everyone does this several times in their life. It's how we grow, it's how we mature and become better people (usually lol). It's how we evolve.
Since late in my pregnancy with Samantha I find myself back into that familiar place. That familiar feeling and questioning of what is important, who really matters and what life is now. It can be a really rewarding journey to take yourself on, a really uplifting way to remind yourself of who is important and how lucky you are to have them in your lives, and also a bit disheartening way to realize that sometimes people drift apart, go down different paths and sometimes those you like to think of as great friends just simply aren't. Not that they aren't good people that you enjoy the company of, but not necessarily your closest friends.
I think it is really important to realize who your closest friends are, not so you can keep a score card or anything like that, but so that you not only remind yourself of who is truly there for you but also so you know where to direct your energy. Which I know sounds bad, but I think of it is this way, if I have friends that are always there for us, who are amazing and supportive, I want to be sure that I'm being a good friend to them. I want to make sure that I am as good of a friend to them as they are to me, and with only so many hours in the day, it's impossible to be a great friend to everyone you know. It just isn't a reasonable expectation. And I do think having quality friends matters a whole lot more than saying you have a ton of them.
A good friend is one who even if they aren't physically in the room with you, you know they are there for you. You know that you can talk to them at anytime about anything in the world and talk honestly and in confidence. A good friend is one who thinks of the little things (like when you're hugely pregnant, don't feel like going anywhere and they take your daughter to the pumpkin patch and not only get her a pumpkin, but one for her brother in heaven and sister in your belly too, or the one who knows you're going stir crazy at home with your premature infant and drives over with your favorite food, or the one who travels all the way to just walk for your lost baby, and the ones who you are always comfortable with to be goofy, silly, ridiculous all without judging you or thinking of what they will say about you later to everyone else).
This year, 2011, quality is going to triumph over quantity in every aspect of life. It is so possible to be in a room of people that you know and feel incredibly lonely. When you are in that same room with a handful of good friends, you never feel alone.
Thank you to the most amazing and supportive friends a girl good ask for.