This time 3 years ago

I was 32 weeks pregnant.  I had beaten all the doctor's predictions by 8 weeks and had spent 9 weeks confined to a hospital bed.  I had finally been told that I could safely go into labor and nothing would be done to prevent it if Matthew decided to be born.  This was a big day.

He decided to hang out in there for another week before he was born and beat even more of the goals set by the medical staff.  He cried when he was born.  He had a fighting spirit.  A week from today, Matthew will celebrate his third birthday in Heaven while we remember him here on Earth.

Three years.  It doesn't feel like that much time has passed.  Some days it still feels like yesterday.  Some days it feels like an eternity has passed. 

Next Saturday, August 7, Matthew would have turned 3 years and 1 day old.  To celebrate his life we will be having our annual balloon release.  It means so much to us to have our family and friends surround us and keep his spirit alive.  There are two days a year that we ask for friends and family to celebrate his life with us, for the yearly March for Babies event and for his birthday.  In every 365 days, we ask for 5 hours of your time to remember such a special little boy.

There isn't anything I wouldn't give for the opportunity to have spent the last 3 years with him, to have watched him grow, discover ice cream, enjoy feeding giraffes, learn how to ride a tricycle, ride the ferris wheel, fly on an airplane and enjoy life.  He is in our hearts and thoughts each and every moment of every day.  He is missed to the point of physical pain and loved to the ends of the Earth. 

Regardless of whether or not we can physically share his birthday with him, or tuck him into bed each night, he is our son.  He is our baby, he's our second child, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin and we love him.  We celebrate his birthday to honor his life, and this year, it feels fitting that we celebrate the anniversary of our marriage on the same day that we honor his place in our family and all that he has brought into our lives.

If you can make it, that would be wonderful.  His balloon release is Saturday, August 7 at 11:00 AM at St. Mary's cemetery.  If distance is an issue, please release your own blue balloons at the same time and we can fill the sky with wishes sent to Heaven above.