32 week OB appointment

Really, appointments at this point are still kinda boring.  You go in, pee in a cup, stand on a scale, get your blood pressure taken, get your p17 shot in the rear, listen to the heartbeat on the doppler (which, when Kaitlyn went this time, she said it sounded like someone was knocking on the door really fast!), get measured, get told "wow, you're doing great, I never thought you'd get this far this time!", wipe the doppler goo off your belly and go schedule your next appointments.  Pretty simple stuff lol.

So let's see, urine was normal.  It didn't show signs of infection yesterday, which is great since I've been on antibiotics for nearly 6 days now and it should be mostly cleared up.  It also didn't show signs of protein, which is also great since pre-eclampsia is not something I want to add to my "been there, done that" list anytime in the near future.

Weight was ok, up 35.5 lbs.  My doctor said even if I gained 100, he wouldn't make a comment, it's all fine with him.  Of course, that doesn't make it easier when Kaitlyn asks if she can call me "fat mommy" or "big mama" until the baby comes.  Which lead to a conversation about how not nice the word fat is.  And the lady at JC Penney who said I looked like I was about to pop is lucky I was in such a good mood yesterday that I didn't attempt to retaliate her comment.

Blood pressure wasn't as great.  I'm consistently a 110/60 kinda girl.  It's just how I am, in pretty much all situations.  Yesterday, it was a little stressful picking Kaitlyn up (I HATE their pick up policies and how the school is set up for that) and from there we had to make a mad dash to the doctor's office to get to my appointment on time.  So, it was elevated slightly to 124/70.  He said that it's within the normal and reasonable range, but high for me, and with the swelling, we just need to be sure that I continue to rest, rest, rest and drink as much water as possible.

The shot wasn't bad at the time.  This time I didn't feel it go in or feel the thick oil being injected.  It did, however, hurt worse than it has ever hurt before afterward.  To the point where I couldn't sit on that side at all and it still hurts this morning.  And when I took the bandaid off today there was a lot more blood than there has ever been.  Fortunately, we only have 4 more!!  Crazy I tell you!

Heartbeat was good.  It was nice and strong, she was rolling around in there.  But, she's in the head down position and pretty much out of room, so it's not like she can go anywhere to run from the doppler like she used to try to do.

Baby is measuring big.  Like, really big.  Like, I might need to rethink VBAC big.  She's more than likely closing in on 5 lbs now, when most babies are measuring close to 4 lbs by the END of 32 weeks.  And it is so crazy, my skin on my stomach is stretched so thin, I'm shocked I don't have stretch marks yet.  But, you can literally feel and make out just about every part of her body.  You can tell where the heel of her foot is, where her bottom is, where her spin is resting.  And when she flips sides, it takes my breath away, I have to stop for a minute because it hurts.  This is in no way complaining, I'm thrilled she's growing so well, but it does make me think again about our delivery options.

When I was in the first trimester, my Doctor asked if I wanted a VBAC.  I was surprised he asked since the year prior, when I was pregnant with our first m/c, he said that he wouldn't feel comfortable with me having one then.  But, this time he said that with as much time that has passed since my cesarean (over 3 years now) and with me having a textbook pregnancy previously, I would be an ideal candidate and he would support one.  I told him "Of course, but lets get through the first trimester first before we even begin discussing the last."

When he asked again at 16 weeks, again I told him I just wanted to get through the big milestones and then talk about it.  And I'm now at a point where I need to make a final decision.

Until yesterday, I was 100% pro VBAC.  I want to give this baby the best possible start and I know that a vaginal delivery gives a baby that (in most cases) and allows their lungs to properly expel all the gunk before they are born.  And I also want to enjoy labor and delivery.  The cesarean was so miserable and so painful that there wasn't anything to enjoy.  I had to wait forever to see our baby, to eat, to enjoy visits from family and friends, to walk, to use the bathroom, to be off pain meds and on and on and on.  I don't want to repeat that.

But, if i get to 40 weeks, this baby could easily be over 9 lbs.  I haven't ever delivered a 9 lb baby.  Ever.  And I'm not sure that I want to or that I can.  And I would hate to go through labor and the pain and pressure of pushing to end up tired, exhausted and in a cesarean anyways.

What to do, what to do?

If it wasn't a VBAC, induction would be an option, but it isn't.  The risk of uterine rupture increases with an induction and while I'd love a VBAC, I wouldn't love having my uterus rupture, risk brain damage to Samantha and put myself in the position of needing a hysterectomy.

But, with a VBAC we could be surrounded by family and friends when Samantha entered the world.  Kaitlyn could be there when her little sister was born, she could be placed on my chest, we could nurse after, I could eat within an hour, I could get up on my own to use the restroom, we could go home sooner, I could heal sooner, I can go to the gym sooner, and we could have what I believe is a more peaceful delivery.

So, right now, I have no idea.  Scratch that.  I have a general idea.  If I go into labor before she hits 8 1/2 lbs (obviously, an estimated 8 1/2 lbs) VBAC it is.  If she's close to 9 lbs or more, I just don't think it's realistic to deliver her vaginally and really, I like living in the real world.  So, we would have a cesarean.  I think.  I just don't know.  But, we have some time to decide, right?