23 weeks with Miss Charlotte

Today, I've hit 23 weeks pregnant. 1 week away from "viability." 1 week from the day that hospitals will take heroic measures to save your baby if born without the parents pushing them to. 5 days away from being the same gestational age as when my water broke with Matthew. I think 23 weeks is my least favorite week. It's so close but so far all at the same time.

 According to most articles, she should be hitting a pound this week. Considering she was about 5 ounces over what was expected to be at a week and a half ago, I'm willing to bet that she's close to a pound and a half now. As of my last ultrasound, my placenta hasn't moved much more, which isn't fun. But, hopefully it will move considerably by my next ultrasound a week from today. Because it hasn't moved, I'm not really surprised that movement has been a lot different this pregnancy. I feel movement maybe ones or twice a day, and it's more of a rolling feeling than a kick or a punch.

 I feel like I'm gaining weight like crazy. I remind myself it isn't too much different than it was with Samantha, but my face feels gross and yucky. Heartburn is still my number one complaint, and I have to tell you, I cannot wait until fall. Last night's weather was so nice, I look forward to sweaters, jeans, pumpkin patches and all things Autumn.

Kaitlyn is still super excited over the name. She wants to call her Charlie from day 1. While all our kids have names that can have at least one nickname with them: Kaitlyn- Kate, Katie; Matthew- Matt; Samantha- Sam, Sammie; Charlotte- Charlie; but I don't necessarily love using nicknames. I think I just like having the options...

Last weekend, we were asked if Charlotte will be our last baby. The simple answer to that is yes. The follow up question was "What, you aren't going to give Dusty a son?" Ouch. I responded that I did. I'll tell you, at the time, it felt like a million stabs in the chest followed by a squirt of lime and handful of salt. And, it took a couple of days for the sting to wear off. Even though I know it was an innocent question with no ill intent, it just goes to show sometimes it's hard to pretend like something doesn't hurt, and sometimes it's hard to realize that the pain can stay fresh forever.

This is, without a doubt, our last baby. If the placenta doesn't moved a considerable amount, we run the risk of a hysterectomy at delivery. Even if it does move away for a safe delivery, I know that I should not have another one, and I know that our lives will be full raising 3 little princesses. Not to mention that my doctor has agreed since week 6 that another pregnancy would put my health in jeopardy and that of said pregnancy. I would not put our babies mommy in danger and our family in more stress just to try for another boy.

 It can be really disappointing to know that we will not raise a boy in our lifetime. But, a lot of that disappointment comes from not being able to raise OUR little boy in our lifetime. We could have a dozen babies and 3 more boys and it will always hurt that we will not have the opportunity to raise Matthew. We have a son. We love him. And it's hard knowing all the milestones, kisses and hugs we miss out on. But, it is a part of our life that we have to learn to live with.

 In other news: This weekend was crazy busy!

 We had Kaitlyn's jamboree for Cheer, Camaryn's birthday, a visit from Dusty's family, family pictures, Sunday dinner and little time for rest. Thanks to my mom, we were able to get an updated family picture. One we can proud to use with the March of Dimes. I set up the camera, posed the family and gave her the hard task of snapping the picture and getting a crabby baby to look in her direction and smile.

Kaitlyn's STAR testing results came in and she's doing awesome. She scored advanced in both categories that she was tested in. She had a blast cheering on Saturday and can't wait to cheer for a real game. She practices every single minute of every single day. Every. Single. Minute. She's enjoying school and making new friends, who she says she likes to teach the cheers to at recess lol. She says she wants to do basketball once cheer season is over.

Samantha is teething. Which has her sleep schedule and normally happy temperament all screwed up. She goes to bed by 9, but stays awake past 11 in her bed. I usually fall asleep before she does, but since she doesn't fuss, I don't mind. At 8:40 AM we reach the time where she HAS to get up or Kaitlyn will be late for school. She hates this. Half the time she falls asleep on the way there and wakes up when we get home. Then she naps from about 11-2. Some days longer, yesterday she took another 2 hours after we got home with Kaitlyn. I look forward to that pretty tooth to finish breaking through the skin and to get our happy little girl back.

The only other developments in our home has been Archie. Dusty noticed on Thursday that his eye was looking a little funky so we took him to the vet on Friday afternoon. We were told he was fat. We weren't surprised. It turned out that he must of scratched his eye or gotten something in it and scratched it and ended up with an infection. We've been giving him drops a few times a day and it's almost looking normal again.

Wishing everyone a happy week!