Twice a Year

We do something in honor of Matthew's life. Something that includes our family and friends. Something that we involve others in. We get to think about, talk about, and include Matthew in our lives on a daily basis, visit/tend to the cemetery on a weekly basis, and we don't really expect the same out of anyone else. That would seriously be asking a lot.

But, twice a year we would like the support, companionship and togetherness of family and friends to celebrate and honor and remember Matthew.

The first event is April of every year. March for Babies is a yearly event that truly means a lot to me. It is a day where we can honor him and try to prevent the loss of any other babies. I guess I'm of the mentality of not wanting any other family to ever again endure what we did and do. And while I know that is not completely realistic, I do believe that every dollar we raise and every step that we talk is going towards that direction. March for Babies isn't something that is hard. It isn't something that costs money, it isn't something that requires a whole lot of effort. Yes, we order shirts, but typically for those that cannot afford theirs, we always take care of it. All you have to do is go to a website and sign up, walk a little bit for an amazing cause and then have a free lunch. It's at most, 4 hours of your time, once a year.

The second event is the balloon release for his birthday. It's similar to a birthday party honoring the birth of one of our children. But, there are no presents, no singing Happy Birthday, no seeing how much he's grown or showing off his latest skills. Instead it's releasing a balloon into the air filled with hope, dreams and thoughts.

We try to make these events as easy for people as possible. I think that is why I am so offended when family and friends in the are chose not to participate. I know that I should not become offended by it, but I cannot help it. I know that I should not think less of a relationship because of a person's inability to want to participate, but I do. It absolutely makes me wonder why in the world I maintain a relationship with a person/people who do not seem to care about something that I care so deeply for.

I do not ever expect anyone else to be as passionate about a cause as I am, just because I am. But, it does sting when those don't seem to care at all. And it does make me wonder and think about why I even bother. Which is sad to me. I hate thinking or feeling that way.

I guess that's my rant/rave for the day. I don't want anyone to walk out of guilt, but I do want people to walk out of support. And I am incredibly grateful for the amazing friends and family that go out of their way to be a constant support. Those who drive HOURS to come up, those who ask how they can help, those that help raise money, those that are eager to sign up, those that are eager to help, those that are proud to do something in Matthew's honor and who are there for us. I don't want anyone at the balloon release or March that simply does not want to be there. At the same time, I do not understand how something so important to us can mean so little to someone else who knew Matthew, knows us and are aware of the life that he lived and the family he left behind, and don't want to end that.