Happy Birthday Little Prince

4 years ago today, the contractions wouldn't stop.  The pain was intense.  I could feel the knife through my skin. I waited, feeling as though I was holding my breath, just waiting.  I could feel the tugs, the pulls, the hands trying to "fish" him out.  And finally, he was out, with 2 fingers in his mouth like a fish on a fisherman's hook.  He cried. To this day, one of the most beautiful sounds I'd ever heard.  It was his cry.  It wasn't the loudest, but it didn't need to be.  It was his.

I was stitched up while daddy went to be with him as they got him set up in the NICU.  He needed help.  It was still 7 weeks before he was due, he couldn't breath on his own, he needed an IV to eat, he needed bilirubim lights to treat his jaundice, he needed medication, he had IVs in and 5 days passed before I was able to hold him, but it was the sweetest moment a mother could ask for.  He was my baby and I wanted to memorize everything about him.

He was beautiful.

August 6, 2007 at 4:29 AM, a little boy cried his way into the world, in such a rush daddy barely had time to put his shoes on.

Over the next 27 days, he got bigger, stronger and even more handsome.  He came home with us.  He embedded himself into our family.  He was loved beyond measure.  Quietly, in the wee hours of the morning, he left us.  Everyday he continues to be a part of our family, continues to be loved, continues to be missed.

Today is Matthew's 4th birthday.  While I didn't get the joy of picking him out the perfect present, watching his face when he opened it, planning a party that he loved, or watching him run wild, our family was surrounded by family and friends who are appreciated more than words could ever describe.  We are forever grateful for their love and support.

In Matthew's honor, we released balloons, enjoyed cupcakes and spent a little bit of time together.

Thank you to all those who spent a part of their day with us and to all those that made Matthew a part of their day.  You cannot understand how much that means to us.  We are incredibly blessed and lucky to have such an amazing support system.

Happy Birthday our sweet little prince.