Joshua Reagan

A few months before Kaitlyn was born, I really wanted a way to share her with family and friends near and far.  It was before social networking sites were as popular or as easy to use as today.  I discovered Babyhomepages.net and Kaitlyn had a page.  I would update it just like a baby book and then share it.  My nieces had one, Matthew has one, I had started one for the first baby we miscarried and updated them often.

BHP (babyhomepages) was similar to a message board once you started posting.  You would see the pages other people created for their kids, and could leave comments.  It started friendships from one side of the world to another with people who had the same interests, kids of similar ages and who were going through many of the same trials as you were.

A couple of years ago, I had received a message that someone was using Kaitlyn's pictures as their own.  I didn't really pay much attention to it and didn't take it too seriously.

Over the last year, it's changed.  I've been contacted by numerous people with more information regarding the craziness this woman has created.

From the sources, I was able to gather that they were using the persona Joshua Regan.  A single father of now three girls and one little boy who passed away.  They had a facebook page and mostly found relationships on dating websites.  Their mother died in labor when Charlotte was born, and prior to the birth of each child, there was a different story as to mom's whereabouts.

Joshua Reagan was a woman.  Obviously sick in the head and from Florida.  I was able to track down their IP address and knew they were visiting the blog and the BHP sites.  I enjoy blogging and described why I started putting watermarks on my photos here.  I made the BHP sites private.  I, naively, assumed they were only getting the pictures from the blog.

Until I received a friend request on facebook followed by a message.  The messages included a photo.

Those first 4 photos were found only on one place: facebook.

The middle one of Matthew was also on facebook, but not directly on my page.  Rather on friends pages.  The next three were all on instagram and shared on facebook.

They all had facebook in common.  And I had over 475 friends.  So, I started deleting everyone that could have possibly been someone else.  Someone who could have been pretending.  Someone who could have actually been "Joshua Regan." 

After I deleted the first 10, the woman who had given me the photo said that "his" instagram page was going crazy and photos were being deleted.

I kept deleting.  I mean, to be honest, I didn't know who this person was that was messaging, or the people who had messaged me about it before.  All of them could have been the same person for all I know. 

I learned rather quickly that facebook is not a fan of you just deleting friends.  After about 50, it started glitching.  I ended up accidentally deleting many that I didn't need to.  I ended up getting down to closer to 150 friends.  Which, has made my newsfeed feel naked.

Throughout the time of unfriending, I continued to receive FB messages from the woman with photos of the texts she had received.

I removed the information shared by the person who shared them with me for a couple of reasons.  The main one being she talks about her kids, and I'm not sharing anyone's kids information.  And, it's not really necessary to get the creepy factor of what "Joshua Reagan" did.

 

I also received these:

I then received more texts after "Josh" was called out in regards to not being who he said he was:

 

He also sent a picture of his real daughter.  Who I thought about posting as well to find the true parents of, but have decided against.


This, according to "him", is his sister and her family:

Disgusting.  Right?

So, the next morning, I received this email (from carrie.mcguire@icloud.com):

 Hi my name is Carrie. I'm 27 years old and I am sending this because I want you to know that your blog about cat fishing is wrong. As a freshman in high school, I lost my little sister to leukemia. I got really depressed and started spiraling downhill. I started doing drugs and I was known at school as the gothic girl. There was a specific girl, holly, in my grade who used to be so cruel to me. So I went home one day and created Josh Reagan. I found pictures of a guy who was attractive on aol profiles back when that was our social media. I messaged her, and made her fall in love with this guy only to break up with her and break her heart. Cruel I know. But at that point it made her weaker than me and that's what I needed. So I became addicted. I came across your family when your oldest was a baby. On babyhomepages. My sister had one for her memory and I was just browsing and came across your family. I don't know why I did what I did from there on out. I did use your children's pictures. I don't know why. I don't really have answers. What I can tell you is I'm sorry. I'm done with it all, and I'm trying to get my life back where it needs to be. I no longer have a computer, I got rid of it. I'm in a program to help with Internet addiction and the first step is to apologize to the people you hurt with your addiction. I am very sorry for doing what I did. It was wrong, and stupid. I you have any questions you can email me back, but I want you to know I won't be doing it any longer. 



Sent from my iPhone
  


Obviously, this person has some serious mental illness issues.  I have absolutely no sympathy for them and I hope that they seriously stop what they are doing and realize how much it can hurt others.

I think it's another example of how we cannot control what happens to us in life, the only thing we can control is how we react.

If I accidentally unfriended you, and you're not a psycho, please friend request me.  :)  And be safe on the internet people!

Only 4 months until Christmas!

And 5 days.

Which means that this little princess is 8 months old.

Charlotte has grown so much in the last month.  I haven't weighed her or measured her yet, but there is absolutely no question that she's gone through a growth spurt.

But, she's also grown in other ways.  She has such a personality.  She is incredibly outgoing but likes to play shy.  She does not like to see anyone upset, but laughs when she hears someone else giggle.  She is curious about everything going on around her.  She is quick to smile, quicker to stick out her tongue and goes to just about anyone these days.  And she does the cutest little thing with her nose.  It gets crinkled all the time.  I love it.

She is crawling so fast and getting into just about everything lately.  She loves to be in the kitchen.  It's the best place to open drawers and cupboards.  She loves to get out all the sippy cups and play with the lids.  She's just so fast, and wants to be where the action is. 

Charlotte is anxious to stand up.  If she's in her bassinet (I know we need to move her, more on that in a moment) she can put her hands on my nightstand and then pull herself to stand.  But, her body is more like a triangle.  She spends a lot of time pulling herself to her knees and grabbing onto anything to pull herself up to stand.  If we help her up to stand, she'll stand for a really long time.  Like minutes.  If we hold her hands, she'll make a lot of stepping motions to get where she wants.  She's so excited about every single movement.

She loves to be picked up and reaches her arms out to you and waves her little hand towards you like, please let me love on you.  And when you pick her up, she will love on you.  She will turn her head into your chest.  She will give you wide open mouth kisses.  She will just love you.  It's the sweetest thing.

She is babbling a lot and can say mama, but I don't count it yet.  If you ask her where mama is or dada, or Kaitlyn or Samantha or bottle, she knows.  There are actually a lot of words she understands.  She loves the dogs, is just absolutely crazy about Archie. 

A few things about Charlotte this month:
           * She is clapping
           * She dances to music
           * She loves having a blanket.  All the time.
           * She still has 2 teeth!!  She was the earliest to get them, but the slowest to get more...
           * She still loves the paci.  The only baby to go past 6 months with them.
           * When she wears disposable diapers, she's a size 3; in cloth, she's in the middle rise
           * She is wearing a 6-12 month in clothes.  She hasn't really worn shoes yet...
           * She is sleeping through the night.  Kinda.  She sleeps from 9 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. and 3 to 7
           * She nurses every 2-3 hours day, has baby food 3 times a day, loves puffs and       
              gets 6 oz of formula at night.
           * We have been very slowly adding in table foods.  So far she has had watermelon, mashed
               potatoes and bananas.

I have so many things to write about.  I'm going to work on them tomorrow.  Some things I'm working on:

* Being catfished again!  And this time I have texts and emails to share.  ;) And why I ended up deleting 300 facebook friends...
* Kaitlyn's second year in cheer!
* Kaitlyn starting the 4th grade!
* Samantha potty training and all the hysterical things she says
* The miraculous recovery of Archie
* Our new daily schedule.  What it's like with having my 4 month old nephew here 4 days a week!

A 6th Birthday

Today is the 6th birthday of a very special little boy.

A boy born crying and kicking with a head full of dark, silky hair.

A little one at just under 5 lbs, with quizzical blue eyes and long, skinny fingers he just couldn't keep out of his mouth.

Today is the 6th birthday of a special little prince who changed our worlds.  Who taught us all about faith, determination and strength. 

6 years ago today, after 10 weeks on hospital bed rest, after 10 weeks of having such a limited amount of amniotic fluid surrounding him, Matthew was born.

When he wanted out, he wanted out.  He did not show the same patience and restraint he had the weeks leading up to his birth.  My contractions started around 1 in the morning, by 3:30, I was fully dilated and he did not care one bit that he was bottom first, he was going to descend all on his own, if I wasn't going to push.  By 4:30 a.m., mere moments after reaching the operating room and finding an OB (who just happened to be mine!) on the stroll down, he was born.  He cried.  He was shown to me over the curtain and he was quickly whisked away to the NICU.

And so started our roller coaster.

26 days in the NICU.  A place we called home.  The place where he met his big sister.

The place we spent our spare time.  The first place I held him, 5 days after he was born.  The place where he had his first baths, his first bottles, his first change of clothes, his first ultrasounds, so many of the only firsts he would ever have were here.

The following 44 days of his life were spent at home.  Reading stories with his big sister.

Being cuddled.

Being photographed.

Going to the park.

Meeting family. 

Taking baths.

Getting Spoiled.

And then one day, the morning after this picture was taken, it was over. 

There would be no more of that.  There wouldn't be anymore memories created or shared.  There would be a dark spot where he should be.

6 years can be so long and so short all at once.  Today, Matthew is turning 6.  His golden birthday.  There are so many things we should be doing.  So many things I wonder.

Would he like his birthday pancakes plain like Kaitlyn or filled with chocolate chips and doused in whipped cream and sprinkles like Samantha?  Where would he want to spend the day?  Would he chose to go to Chuck E. Cheese, or take advantage of a rare beautiful day in August by going to the zoo?  Would he want pizza for lunch or chicken McNuggets?  What would he chose for dinner?  What kind of cake would he like?  Or would he want pie instead?

There are so many things about him we never had the opportunity to learn.  To know.  So many things that we take for granted.  So many things I wish we could be doing with him.  So many experiences we would have had together.

I walked by Kaitlyn's room last night.  She had built a big bed on the floor and her and Samantha were watching Looney Tunes together.  Charlotte had already gone to sleep for the night.  And it was hard to realize there should have been a little boy under there, on his birthday eve, too excited to sleep knowing there would be presents.

But, he wasn't.

Instead, we carry him in our hearts.  We honor him in our actions.  We celebrate his life, no matter how short it was.

7 months old

The two weeks leading up to Charlotte turning 7 months (so, about 3 weeks ago since I'm a total slacker this month!), Charlotte woke up so grown up.

 She decided that she no longer wanted to crawl like a frog.  It started with getting her knees up for 2-3 crawls, then flopping on her belly.  Then, an hour later, it would be 4-5 crawls on her knees, then another hour would pass and she would get halfway across the room.  By July 1st, she was officially crawling.  Everywhere.  Without flopping.  So cute.  So fast.  So not ready for it.  And she's so proud of herself.  She'll be crawling and look behind to give you this shy, sweet little smile.  Of course, now she doesn't like to be held nearly as much.

When Charlotte wants to pick something up on the ground, she rocks on her knees, almost to judge where she should stop, to be in a good place.  Then, she flops herself down to get it.  So stinkin' cute.

The next morning, she had 2 bottom teeth.  She's the youngest of the girls to have had teeth break through, so I was shocked.  And, although it was a couple of days where she fussed a bit, she was actually pretty darn good through them cutting.  She continued sleeping through the night, and would just want to chew on everything.  Really, we were pretty lucky.  Knock on wood.  Hopefully it continues.

Since then, Charlotte has started sitting on her own.  Not just sitting, she goes from crawling, to a sitting position, and from sitting to crawling.  Or to her tummy, or her back.  I remember Kaitlyn and Samantha both having a lot more time crawling under their belt before accomplishing the transitions.  Of course, they both sat on their own earlier too..

She loves pulling herself up.  She can get onto her knees and sit up fully without support, but she likes to use the couch, table, our legs or anything else to get as high as possible.  It'll only be a matter of time before she is standing.  Then walking.  It feels like time is going by so fast.  Someone asked me the other day how old she was and I found myself nearly saying 4 months.  7 months is just so close to 1.  And so close to not being a baby.

Charlotte is a wonderful eater.  She is still nursing every 2 hours through the day, finishing off 2 stage 3 jars of food a day, plus 6 oz of formula before bed every night.  She's still pretty petite though.  Just hitting 16 lbs (26%), but so long.  28 inches (92%).  So far, she loves it all.  Except things tomato based.  Which kinda shocks me.  Especially considering how the girls are. 

Charlotte is a cuddly, loving and nosy little girl.  She loves being in the middle of everything and does not like to be left out of the playing.  She doesn't like Daddy and her sisters rough housing, it makes her lip quiver.  She cracks up at Kaitlyn and Samantha both and is so spoiled by those girls.  She has an amazing personality and squishes up her little nose and does all sorts of funny things with her eyebrows and lips.  She is pretty happy most of the time.  As long as she isn't in the car.  She absolutely despises the car.

Our little red headed, blue eyed little princess is growing before our eyes.  She is loved, adored and treasured beyond measure.

Charlotte's hip ultrasound is tomorrow (Monday, July 29th), so think happy thoughts.  I'm fairly positive it will come back normal, and they ended up cancelling her appointment last week to make it with a specialist, so I'm confident we will have answers tomorrow.

Summer Camp

When I was younger, I went to summer camp once as a camper.  I was 12.  I think.  If I remember correctly.  It was a 4-H camp.  I remember making so many friends and having so much fun.  I also remember being incredibly nervous, excited, homesick and wondering what in the world I was even doing there. 

In the years that followed, I was a camp counselor for the West Sacramento Kiwanis camp.  A week away.  A week with 9 - 11 year old campers who were experiencing a lot of what I was feeling once upon a time.  It was so much fun.  It was also hot, dirty, memorable and a special opportunity.

For as long as I can remember, my grandma has helped run Kiwanis camp.  It's just one of those things that she's done. 50 kids go.  Half boys and half girls.  Teens are counselors and adults are staff.  They are broken down into groups of 5.  They hike, camp, fish, explore, learn important skills, sing silly campfire songs and make life long friends.

This year, Kaitlyn asked to go to camp.  Kiwanis camp.  For an entire week, a 2 hour drive away.  Holy moly.  That's a long time.  And with limited cell service with my grandma, and kids not allowed to bring electronics, it feels like forever since we've talked to her.  Instead, it was Sunday afternoon.  About an hour after she left, I told Dusty that I wish I would have told her no.

For all of her attitude, dramatics and inability to listen, she's also hysterically funny, insanely helpful and one of my most favorite people.

On Sunday, Kaitlyn took her own (huge) duffel bag to the bus and helped her daddy load it on.  She found a friend to sit with after they loaded up, and she waved good-bye as her 2 year old sister cried hysterically for several minutes.  I worry that she's not having fun, that she misses us too much, that she's not making friends, that there are too many mosquitoes, that she isn't eating or brushing her teeth.  I worry that she is just absolutely miserable and wishes we would just come and rescue her.

But, this is Kaitlyn.  She misses us at night I'm sure.  But, just for a little bit before falling asleep.  Kaitlyn is making friends and making memories.  And on Wednesday we will sneak away for a couple hours and surprise her.  And it will be hard for me not to snatch her away and force her to come home with us.

6 month appointment

This morning, Charlotte had her 6 month appointment.  I usually try to do it right on the day they turn that age, but she was late on her 4 month one because of scheduling, which pushed them all back.  I hate it.

At 6 months, they measured Charlotte at 26.75 inches (which I think was off , way too short), 15 lbs and 12 ounces and a 42 cm head circumference.

The appointment was going fairly well.  Samantha kept insisting it was her turn to get a check-up and Charlotte was acting as though she'd be thrilled to switch places.  Her heart murmur is still there, which we expected.  She's showing some growth from her last visit.  She's hitting all of her milestones and then some.  (She's finally sitting up on her own in a steady fashion)  And then it came time for her hips to be checked.

That did not go so well.

Her doctor thinks that Charlotte might have an issue with her hips.  She said there's a possibility that her hip is not properly in the socket and that her left leg appears to be a tiny bit shorter than the right.  There's no way to know for sure without an ultrasound and the earliest we can get in is July 24th.  So, July 24th it is...

The rest of her appointment involved her vaccines, and Samantha still wanting her turn.  If only it were time for flu shots, it would have worked out perfectly!

Since vaccines, we've been nursing away a low grade fever and playing with a baby who goes back and forth between pure joy and pure misery.

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day and the doctor is beyond wrong about her poor little hips.