Has caused me to have a newfound respect and amazement towards mothers with more than one child.
Everything is different with a second baby than with a first. With your first child, everything is so new, you have no idea what to expect, you worry about everything you feel and you spend a lot of time daydreaming about your little one.
With your second pregnancy, you know a lot of what to expect. You know that those pains in your belly are normal, you know that the sickness will end, you know that time that feels like it is slowly passing will all of a sudden fly by.
I remember the best thing anyone ever said to me when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn. It was an on call OB/GYN in the labor and delivery department when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn. I had a terrible migraine and couldn't stop throwing up. She told me "no one ever said pregnancy was easy, you're creating a new life and that is hard work."
I guess, until then, I had never thought of it that way. Pregnancy was always this event in a woman's life that looked so miraculous and amazing. I never let the thought enter my mind that pregnancy could equal 40 weeks of misery followed by 6-8 weeks of recovery and not sleeping.
My pregnancy with Kaitlyn wasn't easy. It wasn't terrible, but it was hard. I ws sick for the first six months and lost 13 pounds in my first trimester, I had constant migraines, and terrible back pain from my uterus being so tipped. It was also a stressful pregnancy, I had a wedding to plan, a baby to prepare for, had to deal with the constant negativity of others, were in a car accident, and I thought I was going to be pregnant forever.
When I was pregnant with Kaitlyn, I wasn't working. I had a knee injury that prevented me from doing even the simpliest of tasks. That allowed me to rest as often as possible, and I took advantage of that. It also allowed me plenty of oppurtunities to take a browse through Babies R Us, or the mall every day. I got a lot of walking in.
This pregnancy hasn't been easy. I'm not nearly as sick, but I'm exhausted. I'm ready for bed every night at 7. I get so sick at the same time that it's nearly impossible for me to eat after 6. I already have braxton hicks all the time and terrible heartburn. I get heartburn even with water, it's terrible! And my uterus is tipped so far back that my back is in constant pain.
I don't get to rest as much. I am a full-time stay at home mom with a full time job. I stay pretty darned busy. I have a house to keep clean, a toddler that is very demanding, a doggie that requires a ton of attention and an apartment complex full of people that demand my attention at all hours of the day or night.
When I was pregnant with Kaitlyn, I learned something so valuable that I don't think a lot of people realize or want to realize. The second that pregnancy test is positive, you are a mommy. That blob of cells in you is a baby, it's your baby. You love that baby so much from that first instant.
For the father, it isn't that cut and dry. The baby isn't in them. They cannot feel the baby, their bodies do not change, they do not feel pregnant all they see is a stick with pee on it that changes their lives.
For Dusty, even the first sonogram pictures aren't necessarily a bonding experiance. I don't necessarily see why they would be though. Really, it's a picture of a lima bean in some water. There are not any distinguishing features at all. But, when he sees the sonogram pictures that show his son, and his head, and his eyes and his hands and itty bitty feet, he realizes that it is a baby, his baby that he loves and then, the world changes.
I am incredibly thank ful for Dusty. I truly am. Dusty and I have only been married for 2 1/2 years. We've been together for nearly 8 and lived together for 5 years. I of course forced him into marriage when we found out we were having a baby. I even forced him to have an actual wedding a surprise me with an engagement ring.
In all the time that we have lived together, I have done all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes and household chores. I pay all the bills, do all of the shopping and all of the scheduling. For us, it works. Dusty likes it, he has no worries. For me, I liked it because I know how to it right!
The problem with that situation for so long is, I end up overwhelmed. I had no issues when I wasn't working, that was my job. However, now I am a full-time at home mom with a full-time job. That is a lot of work. I get as much done as possible during the day, but I never have a break. My lunch hour consists of making lunch for Kaitlyn and I and cleaning upstairs. My breaks are playing with Kaitlyn and changing her, or feeding her, or trying to pick up something.
So, up until recently, my typical schedule was, get up by 6, shower, get dressed and ready. Give Kaitlyn a bath, make the beds, sort any dirty laundry and carry it downstairs, take any dirty dishes downstairs, clean the bathroom. Make Kaitlyn and I breakfast, walk Archie and get Kaitlyn set up with a few toys.Then, I would start a load of laundry and clean the office all by 10:00.
The next 8 hours include work and child care. Work includes showing apartments, returning phone calls, placing orders, writing notices, logging rent, posting notices, cleaning the pool, cleaning the laundry room, walking through empty apartments. This is all while playing with Kaitlyn, making our lunch, cleaning up the kitchen, doing the laundry, doing the dishes, picking up her room, taking Archie out, seperating the two of them when Kaitlyn is being rough and of course starting dinner.
My goal each day is to have dinner ready when Dusty gets home at 5:30. After we eat, I clean the kitchen, the living room and we hang out playing before bed.
Now, this has been really hard while pregnant. I have no energy, even more work lately, and I feel sick quite often.
In all the time we've lived together, Dusty has never cleaned a room, ever. This is mostly my fault. He's never needed to or been expected to.
This weekend it's all changed. Dusty, without being asked, without it being mentioned cleaned the entire downstairs. Not only that, he cleaned it every day. It's still clean now, Monday morning. He also also taken on "Kaitlyn duty" when he gets home from work. He waits on me hand and foot when he's home so I can rest. Without him, I would go insane. Literally, ya'll would be visiting me in a home.
A second pregnancy is so different. You aren't as spoiled I guess. Since it's your second child, you don't get as much "coddling" in a way I suppose lol. I kinda miss it, but, it in no way lessons the experiance. If I could, I would talk Baby and Kaitlyn all day. If only I could find someone interested in listening...