My Beef with Girl Scouts

When Kaitlyn started Kindergarten, she was eligible for Girl Scouts and I couldn't be more excited. 

Since there was a long wait list for troops, I volunteered to be a leader.  I accepted a troop into our home.  I planned meetings, I spent too much on books, guides and materials for meetings.  I did all my required trainings, I went to monthly meetings and I learned a lot.

My goal with Girl Scouts was for Kaitlyn to have an experience like I remembered having.  I wanted her to learn to become more active in the community, how to respect nature and the world around her, how to have community service in her heart and how to put others before her.

The Girl Scout promise and law are rules that everyone should promise in life:

The Girl Scout Promise

On my honor, I will try:To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

The Girl Scout Law

I will do my best to behonest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and torespect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

Who wouldn't want their child to practice those rules in life?  How could you go wrong with that instilled in your upbringing?

I do believe there are service units across the country that practice these rules through all levels of Girl Scouts.  I do not believe this was our experience.

My first hint should have been the number of membership coordinators we seemed to go through at council level.  How much paperwork was lost.  How long it took our troop to receive the funds we earned through sales.  How often I had to repeat the same paperwork to get our bank account set up (something that still hasn't been done). and how often I found myself feeling as though our troop wasn't that important.

I was very upfront in the beginning that I could not attend all leader's meetings.  It is a lot to ask of a volunteer.  Depending on the membership coordinator, this either was a problem or it wasn't.  Some were awesome at relaying information to those who couldn't attend and some weren't.  And since everything was so clique, it could be hard to get necessary information.

This was fine.  I could handle it.  The first year was still fine.  Our troop rocked, we were amazing in Cookie Sales and had a fun summer. 

When I was pregnant with Samantha, we took a break once I hit the third trimester.  We eventually joined another troop.  But, once I realized I was setting things up, the troop leader was never around and the majority of the meetings were spent in chaos that stressed me out, we decided to start our troop back up.

At first it was ok.  Then, came the road blocks.  They wanted me to go to every meeting.  I got looks for taking Samantha.  If I didn't go to meetings, I didn't get information.  And the meetings lasted far too long and were filled with far too much small town gossip.  All of a sudden we were getting another membership director.  We did fall product sales and magically most of our sales were "deleted" from the system.  I was told "oh well, too bad" when I asked about it.  I was left to my own devices to solve the problem and evidently it mattered to no one else as much as it mattered to me that family and friends trusted our girls with their money and girl scouts did not deliver.  I asked numerous times how the orders could be deleted after I submitted them and printed the submissions.  No answer.  Not to mention it was a complete and total hassle to get a hold of anyone to get the items that did come in. 

I began to notice at meetings that the events that at one time were girl oriented but family approved (if you paid for insurance for the family to be there) were now girl only allowed.  No daddy's allowed.  No baby's allowed.  Not even newborn nursing little ones.  Just drop your girl off. 

That is not how our family is.

As much as I love the girl scout promise and law, I think family is incredibly important and I think special events should be celebrated as a family.  With our service unit, it felt more (to me at least) that family was only important when it came to the really expensive events they wanted the entire family to attend and buy tickets too.

All of a sudden our meeting times and location wasn't acceptable if we wanted more girls assigned to our troop.  We weren't convenient enough.  And our troop wasn't big enough to matter.

Lastly came girl scout cookies.  We were completely left out of any cookie sales.  Our troop had previously sold over 2,000 boxes.  2 of our girls had sold over 500 individually and looked forward to selling this year.  I inquired about when training was.  Since training was mandatory to sell, I became irritated when my emails and phone calls went ignored.  Then, cookie sales started and it was obvious how excluded we were.  Our troop could not sell cookies.  Our 7 year olds had to be told "we're sorry, you can't sell cookies this year."

And I was fed up.  I realized I didn't need Girl Scouts to teach my daughter the same lessons.  I didn't need the rules, the exclusions, the lack of family time and the stress to teach my daughter the same exact things.  I didn't need the books, the lessons, the crafts.  We can do it on our own.  We can do community service on our time with our own agenda.  And so we are no longer Girl Scouts.  I have no desire to beg people to allow me to volunteer for them.  I have no need to peddle cookies where a service unit that I do not support keeps far more money than the hard working girls get.  This year, we will be a cookie free household and I'm ok with that.

If we ever moved into an area with a different service unit, I would totally consider rejoining.  I would love to be part of a service unit that practiced what they taught.  But for us here and now, it's not in the cards.  Kaitlyn's time will just have to be occupied in other ways. 

 

Kaitlyn's week off

Instead of having President's day off, Kaitlyn's school got the whole week off for "midwinter break."

We decided to make it an awesome and busy kinda week.

We started off on Saturday with me getting some work done and us having everyone's favorite dinner: make your own pizza!

Sunday night we left Samantha with grandma and grandpa while Kaitlyn and I drove to San Jose for the Big Time Rush concert.  She did a lot of screaming.  I did a lot of giggling.  A lot of girls did a lot of swooning.

After a late night out, we spent Monday relaxing and hanging out at home.  We got to play games, watch TV and all that good stuff.

Tuesday, I went to the March of Dimes Kick Off while Kaitlyn hung out with daddy at work, riding her bikes and all that good stuff.  That evening we went to the in-laws for dinner.

Wednesday, we picked up Kaitlyn's cousin Camaryn and headed to Chick Fil A for some grub and some play.  We left there and headed for the botanical garden to take some pictures before we went to find a park.  We did not find the park.  So, we headed to Nana and Papa's for a bit and headed back to work.

Thursday we met one of my favorite and closest friends and her little ones at Fairy Tale Town for a day of playing and fun.  It was also going to be a pictures in the park day, but the wind was ferocious, so it didn't work out that way.  I did get this picture there, that I'm sure will be the topic of an upcoming post.

Friday, we went to John's Incredible Pizza and Hobby Lobby to end the free weekday portion of her vacation!  She had a blast running around everywhere and winning the claw machine and lots of dinosaurs!

Saturday we helped through my youngest sister's Golden birthday.  I will have a TON more pictures to post of this later.  But, I have to say, aside from the nutella fondue bar, the photo booth was my favorite.  As you may be able to tell, Kaitlyn absolutely LOVED having a remote to take as many pictures as she could.  I can't tell you how many times I walked by and the camera was pointed down....

Sunday, Kaitlyn had another fun day going roller skating with one of her BFFs.  Then, we headed over to my parents for Sunday dinner.

Kaitlyn woke up this morning not at all ready for the week to end.  Samantha was ready to go back to her regular schedule and napping at home, and I had a ton of fun all week, but am exhausted and used way too much gas for it to be over $4 a gallon, and I was excited to get back to our schedule today.

How was your week?  Any leap year plans?

The Poo Diaries

** Disclaimer: If you don't like poo talk, click that little red X at the top.  This will be a update about Samantha's poop issues and might be kinda gross for the squeamish **

As you may remember from here and here, Samantha has been battling constipation since she was 13 months old.  She'll be 16 months next week.

We've been to the doctor now a third time for this issue.  We've done a total of 4 enemas, a ton of miralax, big kid doses of magnesium citrate, x-rays, diet changes, old wives tales and more to try and figure out what is going on.  Since Friday, Samantha's appetite has really decreased.  Even her favorite, milk, has to be coerced down into her belly.  She's still spitting up some.  Today, we headed back to the doctor.

Samantha has only gained .2 lbs in 3 months.  She's lost weight in the last 2 weeks. It's hard to tell exactly how much because one weight was done laying down completely naked and one (today) was done fully clothed, standing, with a jacket and tennis shoes.  They estimate nearly a pound.  An examination of her tummy revealed multiple patches of stool that are just not coming out.

She's going.  Some.  But, it's mostly diarrhea like.  Stinky and watery.  But, not anything of substance.

Samantha's on her last chance.  We're going to be doing adult doses of magnesium citrate today (once she gets up from her nap) and tomorrow.  We're going to continue the miralax for 2 weeks at a full dose before tapering off.  If she doesn't show improvement, we get to call her doctor and go in for an x-ray.  If things get a little better, she waits 2 weeks before her x-ray.  If there is still anything in there, she earns herself a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologists. 

Here's to hoping we have lots of full diapers over the next 2 days! 

Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait

On Tuesday, I was invited to the Kick Off for March for Babies presented by the local chapter of the March of Dimes.  My mom and Samantha both attended with me and we were seated at a table with some really nice women.

One of the new ad campaigns the March of Dimes is running is called "Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait" and addresses the misconception that a baby born at 37 weeks is getting the same healthy start as one born at 39/40 weeks gestation.

A big part of their campaign is directly related to recent research indicating the health risks of having a baby too soon, even if you are considered "full-term."

Why at least 39 weeks is best for your baby

This article is for women thinking about scheduling their baby's birth.


More and more births are being scheduled a little early for non-medical reasons. Experts are learning that this can cause problems for both mom and baby. If possible, it's best to stay pregnant for at least 39 weeks. If your pregnancy is healthy, wait for labor to begin on its own. You can help get the message out with your own Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait T-shirt.


We know you can’t wait to meet your baby face to face. But getting to at least 39 weeks gives your baby the time he needs to grow. There are lots of important things happening to your baby in the last few weeks of pregnancy. For example, your baby's brain and lungs are still growing.


You might not have a choice about when to have your baby. If there are problems with your pregnancy or your baby's health, you may need to have your baby earlier. But if you have a choice and you're planning to schedule your baby's birth, wait until at least 39 weeks.


Why babies need timeBabies born too early may have more health problems at birth and later in life than babies born full term.
Here's why your baby needs 39 weeks:

• Important organs, like his brain, lungs and liver, get all the time they need to develop.
• He is less likely to have vision and hearing problems after birth.
• Babies born too soon often are too small. Babies born at a healthy weight have an easier time staying warmthan babies born too small.
• He can suck and swallow and stay awake long enough to eat after he's born. Babies born early sometimes can't do these things.

Why scheduling an early birth can be a problem Experts are learning that scheduling an early birth for non-medical reasons can cause problems for mom and baby. For example:

• Your due date may not be exactly right. Sometimes it's hard to know just when you got pregnant. Even with an ultrasound, your due date can be off by as much as 2 weeks. If you schedule to induce labor or schedule acesarean birth (also called a c-section) and your date is off by a week or two, your baby may be born too early.
• Inducing labor may not work. If your labor is induced, the medicine your doctor or certified nurse-midwife gives you may not start your labor. When this happens, you may need to have a c-section.
• A c-section can cause problems for your baby. Babies born by c-section may have more breathing and other medical problems than babies born by vaginal birth. (Most babies are born by vaginal birth. The mother's uterus contracts to help push the baby out through the vagina, also called the birth canal.)
• C-sections can cause problems in future pregnancies. Once you have a c-section, you may be more likely in future pregnancies to have a c-section. The more c-sections you have, the more problems you and your baby may have, including problems with the placenta.
• A c-section is major surgery for mom. It takes longer for you to recover from a c-section than from a vaginal birth. You can expect to spend 2 to 4 days in the hospital after a c-section. Then you'll need 4 to 6 weeks after you go home to fully recover. You also could have complications from the surgery, like infections and bleeding. So it's important to stay in touch with your health care provider even after you go home.

The March of Dimes Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait™ education campaign and obstetric provider groups advise that you wait until at least 39 weeks to induce labor or have a c-section if it is needed. Wait this long unless there are medical problems that make it necessary to have your baby earlier.

The Healthy Babies are Worth the Wait™ education campaign was developed in response to the growing number of inductions and c-sections prior to 39 weeks for non-medical reasons. Campaign messaging is not intended for mothers who have their babies early for medical reasons or who go into early labor on their own

I know how hard those last few weeks of pregnancy is.  The waiting.  The wondering about every single twinge and if today will be the day baby is born.  The anticipation of what or who baby will look like.  The aches and the pains.  The feeling of just being done.

Kaitlyn was born 3 days after her due date.  I felt like those were the longest 3 days of my life.  How could she not know her time was up?  How could she not realize that?  Why wasn't she being born yet?  What could she possibly be waiting for?  And why couldn't I be one of those lucky moms that went in at 37 weeks and spared myself the last 3 weeks of aches and pains and swollen feet and stretch marks.

Obviously, my pregnancy with Matthew taught me a lot about patience in pregnancy.  Obviously when we, or my body, thought it was time to be born was far too soon.  And everything possible was done to prolong delivery.  Every Monday was a big deal, it was another week, it was progress, it was a chance at life.  A week meant the entire world.  And sometimes I wonder if we would have hit 35-36 weeks and he would have been "pre-term" instead of premature if it would have made a difference in his life span.

By the time I was "full term" with Samantha, I had just spent 37 weeks terrified that I would go into preterm labor and she would end up with a NICU stay.  Then, when the p17 shots ended, I was convinced I would go into labor at anytime and was taken off of baby aspirin to prepare for delivery.  Baby aspirin stays in your system for 2 weeks.  At 38 weeks, I was constantly on edge.  Terrified.  I thought for sure that my body was just gearing up to create a blood clot that would cause her to suffer from fetal demise.  I used the doppler anytime I thought she was moving sluggish or differently.  It is the only reason I opted for a repeat cesarean.  Even so, we waited until 39 weeks and 3 days to give her the absolute best possible chance at life.

I understand not everyone has the luxury of getting to 39 weeks.  And mommy and baby's health should always come first.  And no matter what you do to try and get to 39 weeks, your baby may not stay put. 

We should all be proud of the job our body's do to create a life, nurture it and allow it to grow and form.  We should be proud and supportive of how far we get in pregnancy, and know that it isn't anything that you did to cause your baby to be born too soon if you unfortunately are in that position.  We should embrace our stretch marks, relish in the last days of baby kicks and enjoy the awe of impending childbirth.  

But, encouraging baby to be born early just because you're sick of pregnancy, isn't the answer.  I wish more doctors would educate their patients on why waiting is so important!

Want to help get the word out and give more babies a healthy start?  Just donate to our March for Baby's team, Matthew's Team!

The Keys to a Happy Marriage and a Happy Family

I'm going to start my opinion tonight by stating that I am not even going to pretend that I know everything about a happy marriage or happy family, that we are the happiest or anything at all like that.  This is simply my opinion on what I think works or what I've noticed around me.

I strongly believe that to have a happy family, you have to have your priorities in order.  Everyone's priorities are different.  For me, my immediate family is at the very tippity top of my priority chart.  I love them with everything I am.  I can't help it.  I put their needs, wants, desires and well being above all else.

I do strongly believe that the relationship you have with your spouse should come first.  When you put your marriage first, your children thrive.  When you put your marriage first, you continue a relationship with someone who will still be there long after your children are up and out of the house.  When you put your marriage first, you have a best friend to get through it all with.  When you put your spouse first, you teach your children that their wants do not come before another's needs.

When you have a happy marriage, you have a happier home.  When the bickering is limited, kids get to feel more secure and have a happy place in the home.

For me, the trick starts with never thinking you have a perfect marriage.  As soon as you think your marriage is perfect, you stop working at it.  Once you stop working at it, adjusting for the growth and development you'll each achieve every day, it's no longer perfect.

Being married is really hard work.  You are two people who are evolving every day, you are around each other each and every day, you are in high stress situations, sometimes surviving on lack of sleep and constantly having to be sure that you are being considerate of someone else and realizing the world does not revolve around YOU.

I personally think that having a happy family is a result of putting your family first, practicing selflessness, enjoying each and every day, finding something to smile about every day, thinking in the day instead of the past and future, being free with your love, hugs and kisses and realizing that everyone has a bad day, accept it and move on.

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or a perfect family, even if you read about it on blogs or on facebook.  The only perfect marriage are the ones you'll hear about in divorce court.  A good marriage is something that is a constant work in progress.   

Being a Stay At Home Mom

I love, love, love being a stay at home mom.  I guess though, technically I'm a work at home mom.  I do some contract work for a couple of organizations and I do run The Design Studio which keeps me busy.  But, my number one goal is being a stay at home mom.

I was recently asked by someone who barely knows me if I'll be going back to work soon.  I simply said no.  I mean, it's not as though it's anyone elses business, right?  Which then prompted the "well, when the baby is in school?"  And again, I replied no.  And I was met with a look of, I don't know?  Disgust?  Shock?  Judgement?  What was most surprising is that it was from an older person whose generation never would have had a woman working outside the home.

Since then, I've seen some really offensive comments regarding moms that stay home and the dire financial straits the families must be in, how bored, lazy or undervalued the mom must be and how oppressive the father surely is for not allowing his wife to work.  The comments go back and forth between being offensive, frustrating and just plain silly.

I do not believe there is a blanket answer on what is right or wrong concerning working moms and stay at home moms.  I think the debates between the two are ignorant and a waste of time.  I believe that each family situation is completely different and all that matters is that the kids are well cared for and the parents are pleased with the decision they make.  

I am incredibly fortunate that I married someone who values the role I play in this home and supports MY decision to be at home with and for our kids day in and day out.  I am also incredibly fortunate that we not only had frank conversations regarding what was most important to us and our family regarding myself working out of the home or not.  We made a decision and since then we work together to make this happen.

One of the "consequences" of being a one income family is that we do not go out spending silly nilly.  Most of the time.  We are far from living in a teeny tiny apartment, eating only ramen noodles and wearing shoes that are without soles.  Our kids are far from going without, there are few things that we want that we don't have, we still splurge on unnecessary (in my opinion :P) cable channels and our hobbies are supported.

We do not drive new cars.  It would be nice, but the trade off to me isn't really worth it.  We could live in a bigger house, but really I would need to work full time or we would have to move and we love our families and the bonds they have with our children too much to do that.  And really, a bigger house would just mean more cleaning and less playing.  We're happy.

I was at Kaitlyn's school last week when I overheard a couple of parents talking.  They were frustrated with the school being out all of next week for mid winter break.  I understood their frustrations. They both worked and made sure they got off in time to pick their kids up from school, but they didn't work jobs where they could take a week off every month.

Hearing that conversation made me even more grateful that we are in the position that we are in.  I'm looking forward to Kaitlyn's week off of school.  I'm looking forward to spending the week doing crafts, seeing friends and working to teach her fractions.  I'm grateful that I don't have the stress of figuring out what we're going to do for childcare.  And, I won't lie, I'm looking forward to sleeping in a little bit.

I couldn't imagine not having all the time that I have with Kaitlyn and Samantha.  I think it would literally break my heart every single day.  It's worth everything that we do to make it possible and it's worth the days of hard work and lack of lunch breaks.  I just absolutely love it.

Finding Our Routine

I LOVE routines.  I love conquering the world and thoroughly enjoy the days when I feel like I did just that.  But, I feel like I cannot do that without a routine.  And for some reason, Samantha had made finding one really difficult.

Last week, I was determined to find it.  One that worked for her and one that I could work with.  It involved a whole week of basically staying home during the day to make sure I was following her cues and paying attention to her.  Let me tell you, after 2 days, we found it, we perfected it and she's happier and I'm happier.  And our house is spotless.  I love that.

7:30 Dusty leaves for work and I get in the shower
7:45 I wake Kaitlyn up and get her ready for school
8:30 I wake Samantha up, give her a cup of milk
8:40 Take Kaitlyn to School
9:00 Get home, give Samantha breakfast
9:25 Play time!  Make sure diaper is clean and she is having fun
10:00 Sesame Street comes on, we cuddle for the first 15 minutes of it, then she plays
11:00 Nap Time!
2:15 Nap Time is traded in for lunch time
2:45 Samantha gets dressed for the day and we play some more
3:15 We leave to get Kaitlyn
3:35 Kaitlyn is done with school and we head to the store for dinner if necessary
4:15 We're home, it's snack time and then playing, Kaitlyn does her homework in 25 minutes
5:00 I start dinner
5:15 Dusty is home
5:30 I put Samantha in the high chair to color until dinner is ready
6:00 Dinner is ready
6:30 I clean up dinner, Kaitlyn and Samantha play
7:00 Samantha bath time
7:30 Kaitlyn bath time
8:00 More playing
8:30 Kaitlyn bed time
9:00 Samantha bed time
10:30 My bed time

The only days the schedule has some tweaking is Tuesdays and Wednesdays because Tuesdays we go to Dusty's parents for dinner and Wednesdays are late start days for Kaitlyn. 

I work on a 10 minute cleaning cycle.  I do 10 minutes of as much cleaning as I can without interruption in one room, then I take a 10 minute break to catch up on facebook, texts, words with friends or eat something.  I vary the days, every other day is laundry and the days inbetween are for dusting.  Our baseboards and toilets have never been cleaner and typically (as long as I stay on it every day) I can be done in less than 2 hours.  Which then leaves me time to sew, design or whatever I feel like.

Now, all I can hope is that she likes this schedule for a while, I could totally get used to 3 hour naps...