Due Date

Today is my due date, and in my arms I hold a precious 5 day old little girl.

And, on this day, 6 years ago, I was anxiously awaiting our first princess to arrive, which she did, 3 days from now.  That's right, Kaitlyn, a very proud big sister, turns 6 in only 3 days.  Where in the world has the time gone??

Samantha is doing great.  She is a pretty laid back baby.  For the most part, she eats, sleeps and poops lol.  She has started to have some longer awake periods.  As long as 20 minutes about 3 times a day.  She is incredibly strong.  Dusty has held her and had her doing nearly a complete sit-up, and she tries so hard to push herself up and hold her head up.  She can do pretty good for a second or so.  And when she's awake, she's so incredibly alert, she loves when we sing to her (especially Kaitlyn) and is just pretty content.

Since I'm still healing, it is way easier for me to rest on the couch with the recliner option in full force.  She loves her bassinet from Auntie Christina and Auntie Sammie.  If she's swaddled and the vibrator part is on, she'll sleep in it for over an hour.  At night, she sleeps in her co-sleeper next to me and wakes up every 1-3 hours to be changed and fed and usually goes back to sleep so easy after.  During the day, when she's not in the bassinet, she gets held a lot.  Dusty teases me that I'll regret it when she doesn't want to be put down, and I told him she won't be this small for long, and I'd rather regret holding her too much than not enough.

Tomorrow she has her well baby visit.  She left the hospital weighing 7 lbs 5 oz, down from her 7 lb 13 ounce birth weight, and I'm really curious to see what her weight is now.  :)

Our hospital bags....

Well, the benefit of a scheduled cesarean was that I could have my hospital bags set with everything I could or would want or need.  Which meant my wardrobe was set, as was Kaitlyn's and Dusty's.

For the day of the birth, I wore a lovely blue hospital gown provided by the hospital.  Dusty however had a new shirt I had found for him at Goore's.  I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it and was able to get the last one in his size the day before Samantha was born.  It is dark brown and reads "Proud Dad" and Dusty said it was really comfortable, which I'm sure was great for him!

For Kaitlyn, I had ordered some customs scrubs from KidzScrubz on etsy.  I LOVE them, and so did she.  She said they were cool and they did look super cute.  It was embroderied with "Big Sister Kaitlyn" and she even sent a matching hospital style hat.  She loves her doctor's outfit and wants to wear it every day.

For me, I actually got a couple of things.  The first, was my favorite.  I wore it the day after surgery and was so glad I did.  I wasn't able to shower yet, I was sore, I was still being examined a lot at my incision site, and nursing every hour or so.  Plus, I also had the IV in at that time, as well as the catheter.  But, I had to start walking the halls.  So, this gown from Annie & Isabel was absolutely perfect!  I got to feel clean and pretty, but it was still incredibly practical.  It was so much better than the hospital gown because it covered everything.  I didn't have to worry about wearing the two gowns to cover everything or constantly pull it up on my shoulders, and to know that I was completely covered without worrying if I was exposed.  I got so many compliments on it from the nurses and other patients when we walked the halls.  It's a good thing I still had the tag on it when we got to the hospital because I had so many people ask where we got it.  Don't be surprised if you come by to visit and I'm wearing it :P

And the second outfit we wore on Thursday.  By we, I mean me and Samantha.  Old Navy carries matching maternity pajamas with baby gowns.  For the second day in a row we were the talk of the third floor lol.  The pajamas were perfect thing to wear that day.  It was comfortable, felt great, and felt like I was dressed.  And as my milk came in, it was so easy to nurse with, comfortable on my incision and it was cute lol.

And those were my favorite outfits that we enjoyed.  In case anyone is wondering :P

Welcome to the world Samantha

Less than 72 hours ago, our second princess was born.  She made her way into the world at 3:24 PM weighing 7 lbs, 13 ounces and 20 inches long.

Our cesarean was scheduled for 2:00 PM on Tuesday, November 9.  We had to be there at noon to get everything all set up.

We picked Kaitlyn up from school at 11:10, she was already in the office waiting for us, excited that we were having the baby.  She had already told everyone in the office that we were having a baby today and they were all there to give us their best wishes.

On the way to the hospital, we stopped at McDonald's for Kaitlyn and Dusty to get some food.  I wasn't allowed anything beginning midnight the night prior and I was starving!

We parked and got to labor and delivery at 11:57 AM.  Only to be told there were no available beds.  At this point I should have tried to reschedule lol.  We were put in triage at about 12:30.  I was put on the monitors, did all of my health and pregnancy history, got my IV put in (by a student, who did get it in, but it was really painful!), blood taken, gown and all set up for surgery. 

My Doctor came in around 1:15 and we found out that the OR was really behind.  They had just started the noon section.  I was not thrilled to hear this.  At all.  My nurse was fantastic and soon I met Dr. Carouso who would do my spinal.  My doctor wasn't thrilled about the delay and went to throw a fit about it.  We ended up getting back to the OR around 2:45.  The nurse teased me since I had a steady contraction pattern the entire time we were there.  My contractions were never less than 3 minutes apart, I told her they had been that way for over a week and it was so frustrating to have them so close, so regular and know they aren't doing anything.

Dusty had to wait in the hall in his white jumpsuit, shoe covers, hair net and mask while we got set up.  The anesthesiologist was amazing.  My spinal barely hurt going in and provided an amazing level of pain relief.  It was so different than my cesarean with Matthew.  Once it was in, I was laid on the table, hooked up to a pulse ox machine, blood pressure cuff and given oxygen to help make sure the baby had enough air.  My cathader was placed and I was prepped for surgery.  I had the drapes put up all around me and then Dusty was allowed in. 

Dusty was great!  He was by my head the entire time and kept making sure I was feeling ok and not in pain or discomfort.  Samantha was wedged in there and wedged in high.  She was head down, but Dr. Zielinsky had to push down on my chest to get her to finally get out.  He kept going on and on about what a big baby she was and how happy he was that we were getting this outcome.  The doctor that assisted him had also assisted with Matthew's birth.  They went over my history since then and they were both really happy for us. 

Samantha was finally out!  Dusty got some great pictures, which I appreciate and cherish already.  She wasn't crying when she was first born, they took her to the warmer, rubbed her back and she started to scream.

The pediatric nurse then weighed her, cleaned her up a little bit and got her footprints done.

Dusty was then given the baby to hold, bring to me and cuddle while they finished closing me up.  Dr. Zielinksy decided that my muscles were too stretched from this pregnancy and the last.  He decided to give me a mini tummy-tuck and fix up my scar from the last cesarean.  He was incredibly thorough.

When it came time to get me on a regular bed and in recovery, Dusty took Samantha to meet her family.  She met Kaitlyn, grandparents, aunts and uncles and got to be held by everyone while I was set up in recovery. 

Once I was good to go, Dusty brought her to me and I got to hold her!  We did skin to skin therapy for a little bit before it was time for her to try and nurse.  She took to nursing like a champ.  She did fantastic.

It took a few hours before we went to our room.  The hospital was incredibly full and we didn't get a private room.  While we were transitioning, Samantha went to the nursery where she was given her hearing test, bathed and weighed.  We finally got her back after a couple of hours and then started trying to rest.

My nurse was confused and thought we delivered Monday.  So, she got me up walking within 12 hours of surgery time.  The catheder was out in less than 24 hours.  I was walking the halls 

Unfortunately, we had the roommates from hell.  They were young (which I don't have a problem with), their baby cried ALL the time, she was whiny and expected the nurses to do everything for her, their guests were ghetto and loud and we weren't able to sleep day or night, which had nothing to do with our own baby.  It was really frustrating.

By yesterday, we had enough.  One of their guests was coughing like crazy.  Not sure if she was a smoker or sick, but we weren't risking it any longer and decided we had to go.  By 11, we were walking the halls to try and get some peace and quiet.  Really, it was that bad.  I told the nurse we were just miserable.  By 12, they had decided to move us.  They were opening up the old cardiac care department and moving some patients down there to ease up some space since they were really over packed. 

At midnight, she was weighed and 7 lbs and 6 ounces, she had lost 7% of her body weight.  Which meant that she had to have a bilirubin test in the morning to check her jaundice levels.  Everything came back fine, so I got to have all 18 staples removed and us ready to get going home.

And here we are!  About 72 hours after delivery, we're all home together, resting and relaxing.

My last update pregnant with Samantha

Well, here we are.  The past 4 pregnancies set us up for a list of obstacles to pass.  The chemical pregnancy had us set up to need to get past 5 weeks, the blighted ovum had us wishing to get passed 6 weeks with a heartbeat, the spontaneous miscarriage set us up for wanting to get passed 8 weeks without bleeding and Matthew's pregnancy gave us the goal of getting past 23 weeks with amniotic sac in tact and past 33 weeks without delivering.

Thanks to the amazing medical team that hovered over us this pregnancy and the gracious support of family and friends, here we are.  39 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  Amniotic fluid all still there and a body that has done such a good job of protecting this little one that it refuses to deliver on it's own.  What an amazing feeling that is.

So, here we are, delivery time is in about 7 hours.  Of our full term baby girl who we get to take home with us.  Who would have thought?

While I'm not thrilled about the recovery of a cesarean, there have been some definite upsides.  All of our "labor and delivery" clothes are nice and ironed instead of sitting in my suitcase waiting to be taken to the hospital.  In a few hours I will no longer question every single twitch, feeling or contraction and wonder "is this it?"  And I went to bed last night being able to fully appreciate every bit of pregnancy, knowing it is your last night of pregnancy makes everything seem that more amazing.  Just knowing that tonight if I get to take my nightly shower, I will be able to see my knee caps when I glance down is a good feeling.  Knowing that soon I will be able to get out of bed without it being a circus act makes those middle of the night trips to the bathroom almost enjoyable.  And of course, it forces you to feel out for those little kicks, jabs, turns, somersaults and everything else knowing that you will no longer feel the most amazing feeling in the world in just a few hours. 

And of course, the planning aspect is awesome!  We know when and where so we can give our family and friends plenty of time to plan to be at the hospital :)  We can tell Kaitlyn's teacher what time we are going to pick her up, we can plan on having time for her and Dusty to get lunch on the way.  I know to make sure I pamper myself in the morning to prepare for dry hospital air.  I get to DVR my favorite shows that I will more than likely miss :)  I get to make sure that the dogs are fed and watered and that Kaitlyn has her own packed bag of stuff to play with in the waiting room.

Of course, that also means there is the intense feeling of waiting.  I went to bed at about 9:30 and was up at 3:15 unable to go back to sleep.  I watched Law and Order SVU until 4.  Then Discovery Health had a Special Delivery show on which featured 4 women going through cesarean's for different reasons.  I watched about 15 minutes of a "lost" episode of Married with Children before I fell asleep until 6.  Even though I didn't have my alarm set for another 45 minutes I decided to go ahead and get into the shower. 

The downside is that I'm STARVING.  And I'm thirsty.  And I have heartburn, but I can't take anything because it would go against doctor's orders.  But, in a few hours, it'll all be over :)

So, wish us luck!  And if you want to participate in the baby pool: http://bebepool.com/BabySamantha/

39 weeks- My last weekly update!

How far along? 39 weeks.  And I'm really trying to figure out how in the world we got this far!  Of course, I know how we did it.  We had an amazing medical staff who really listened and valued what I said, who treated my baby as a baby from day 1 and did everything they could think of to give her a chance to be born alive and healthy.  And we couldn't have done it without the support, thoughtfulness and kindness of family and friends who have not only shown an interest in the boring doctor's appointments, but kept me entertained with texts, emails, messages and phone calls.  We are really fortunate to know such amazing people.
Weight gain/loss: 40 lbs.  I'm starting to lose weight now, but I seriously have no appetite and feel like even when I eat there is no where for it to go.
Maternity Clothes?  Yup, I have a couple things left that still fit, and when we're just staying home, I go through Dusty's closet :)
Stretch Marks?  Nope.
Sleep? I have been SOOO exhausted.  I'm going to bed before 9 and sleeping until 6:30 - 7 only getting up once.  My body must be gearing up for sleepless nights!
Best moment this week?  We have a date!!  We know that on Tuesday Samantha is going to be here.  If she decides to come any earlier, that's great, if not Tuesday it is!
Food Cravings?  Milk.  Still.
Belly Button, in or out?  Out.
What I miss?  Actually having the energy I think I have.
Weekly Wisdom? There is a light at the end of every tunnel!
Upcoming Appointments?  Well, we don't have any upcoming appointments!!  We do have a surgery scheduled for Tuesday at 2:00 PM!!  


This is the email I've sent to family and friends in the area, if for some reason you didn't get it, now you have the information too :)




It is looking like I will be having a repeat cesarean to deliver baby Samantha.

The cesarean is scheduled for Tuesday, November 9 at 2:00 PM at Mercy San Juan hospital.  We should be out of surgery and recovery by 3:30 PM (unless emergency deliveries of other patients push us back) and in our room.  There is still a possibility I could go into labor and she could decide to engage her little head before then, and if so, we will obviously contact everyone and let them know :) 

Because it is cold and flu season, the hospital is really enforcing their no children under 12 (with siblings being the exception) policy for the labor and delivery floor.  So, while I would love to see everyone, I just want you to be prepared that security may not be as friendly with little ones visiting as I would like.  If we do not end up with a private room after delivery, they are also enforcing their 4 visitors at a time rule.  If we're lucky (and my fingers are crossed) we should have a private room during our recovery period and some control over how many visitors we get to have :)  And obviously, if you are sick or have recently been exposed to someone who is sick, please wait to see us when you're germ free :)

We are really excited to be able to share Samantha with everyone right when she is born, I just want to be sure there aren't any surprises for our family and friends if they chose to visit us in the hospital :)

As long as everything goes well we should be home between Friday and Saturday.




The hospital is being a real stickler on children, which I don't blame them for, but it kinda sucks.  And Dusty and I are both going to be real sticklers on people being sick or smoking around our baby.  When it comes down to it, she does have an elevated risk of SIDS because she has an older sibling who fell victim.  There is NOTHING we can do to PREVENT SIDS, but we do plan on doing everything humanly possible to reduce the risk of SIDS.  We have set up everything for her with SIDS reduction in mind.


So, if you have been sick, if you have been exposed to someone who has been sick, if you have what could be allergies or a cold, if you have been feeling a little off lately, PLEASE wait until you are feeling better to visit.  We would rather play safe than sorry.  If you're going to be around us a lot, it isn't a bad idea to get your flu shot, it can mean many, many more visits with you and of course, a healthy cold and flu season for you as well.  If you are a smoker and you plan on holding her, please be aware that you will need a clean shirt to put on that has not been smoked in to hold her.  Third hand smoke is just as dangerous as first and second hand smoke and is a real danger.  We will be asking everyone to both wash and sanitize their hands before handling our little one.


I know it sounds like we're being overprotective, but unless you've walked in our shoes, there is no telling how you would react as well.  A simple cold to you can be earth shattering to a newborn.  While we have been really blessed to be able to remove prematurity or underdevelopment of lungs from the risk factors, we have no desire to trade those out for colds or exposure to first, second or third hand smoke.




Now that that's out of the way :)  There is a part of me that still hopes we magically go into labor and progress well and have a VBAC before Tuesday.  I know labor hurts, but I would rather trade in 10, 12, 24+ hours of pain in labor and delivery for the weeks of pain in recovery for a cesarean.  And a shorter hospital stay.  But, I know that's pretty unlikely no matter how much walking I do, or how much time I spend on the labor ball, or how many stairs I climb.  She seems to want to do things her way :)  


But, while the recovery time is worse for a cesarean and it's a lot less intimate of a way to bring a baby into the world, at the end of the day, that's what matters, we're bringing her into the world.  And there are benefits of it.  We know that by Tuesday afternoon we will deliver.  End of story, no more waiting around, hoping, wondering, evaluating every little twinge and wondering if every contraction could be the start of something.  And it makes it so much easier to get Kaitlyn's arrangements made.  Auntie Christina is getting the honors of keeping her Tuesday night and taking her to school on Wednesday!  Grandma gets to pick her up Wednesday and keep her until we come home.  And of course, this way we get to plan on picking up Kaitlyn from school at lunchtime to take her with us to the hospital.  And believe me, it's nice that this is the last Sunday I will have to force myself out of bed before the sun rises because I can't handle the heartburn anymore ;)


Just think, the day after tomorrow, there she'll be :)  In the meantime, we do have a baby pool going, and I'm working on coming up with a prize...   Samantha's baby pool

38 week appointment

Today was my 38 week appointment.  After all the fun we had at L&D on Monday night, all the cramping, contractions and "gunk" we had yesterday and this morning, I was looking forward to seeing some progress today!  I was so ready to hear some good news I even parked at the top of the parking garage and took the stairs down, and then took the steps up 2 at a time to my appointment.

I have lost 2 pounds since my last appointment, which is fine and dandy and totally normal at this stage in pregnancy.  My fundal height was great and right on, my blood pressure was at 100/70, and her heartbeat was in the 150s and easy to find. 

Then came the lovely cervical exam.  We discussed my trip to l&d, the cramps, the contractions and what they should be doing.  We discussed how just Monday night I was dilated to 1.5 cm.  Well, my cervix must night like that at all because now it has reformed itself completely.  I'm not dilated AT ALL, not effaced AT ALL, and her head is not engaged.  The thought is it might be too big to actually engage.  And we knew that one of the possible side effects of the p17 shots is a larger baby, and really, I'd rather a larger baby born by cesarean than a premature baby born vaginally any day, so it's all worth it :)

So, our cesarean is officially scheduled for Tuesday, November 9 at 2:00 PM (PST)!  If I go into labor before then, great, we'll do a trial of labor and try for a VBAC, if not, she'll be here by dinner time next Tuesday :)

Our trip to Labor and Delivery

The contractions started around the time the world series started.  They weren't really like the other ones, they were obviously not just braxton hicks.  They radiated through my back, hips, and through my thighs.  I started timing them a little after 5:30.  After an hour of seeing them at 4 1/2 minutes apart, I told Dusty that if they didn't change, we would be headed to the hospital after the game.

During the game, I decided to take a hot shower.  During this time I missed Renteria's home runs, but at the time I didn't care because it dulled the pain and felt so good.  I figured I might as well shave my legs, just in case.

At about 8:15, I told Dusty I wanted to go in.  The pain was bad, they were getting closer and I was worried about being too far from the hospital (only 30 min) and risking anything since I want a vbac.  He packed his bag of some extra clothes and toiletries and DVDs, Kaitlyn grabbed some jammies and we were off.  We dropped Kaitlyn off with Dusty's parents until we knew if we were being admitted or not.

We got to the hospital, got signed in (yay for pre-admission) and since all the rooms were filled or dirty, we went to the triage room.  I got changed into the lovely gown and they strapped on the straps.  Baby was looking good, heart rate was great and the contraction monitor was picking up the contractions.  They were every 3 to 3 1/2 minutes apart, lasting 50 - 60 seconds and off the chart.  The nurse decided to check my cervix and see what it was doing.  I was dilated to 1.5 cm.  I have never dilated before being in labor.  Even the morning of the day Kaitlyn was born, there was no dilation, less than 12 hours before Matthew was born, there was no dilation.  I thought this was it.

We stayed on the monitors for 2 hours, contractions stayed in a steady pattern and then the on call doctor came in.  She wanted to check my cervix.  Since I wanted a "trial of labor" they wanted to monitor me really close.  She said I was 1.5 cm, STILL, and my cervix was really high up, she almost couldn't reach it.  My assignment was to walk and see what happened.

We walked.  And walked.  And walked.  We walked the hallways, we took the stairs to the roof and back, we took the stairs to the basement and back.  We walked until I was exhausted and super thirsty (wasn't allowed water because of previous cesarean) and couldn't walk anymore.  I got back on the gurney, strapped to the monitors and contractions remained consistent.  At 12:30, she checked me again.  She felt as though my cervix actually got a little harder to reach, but was still at 1.5 cm.  She asked if I wanted to give it a couple more hours or go home.  I voted to go home.  She went to talk to the doctor and I got voted down.

The problem with having a VBAC is they treat your labor as high risk.  My contractions were still consistent.  They were painful.  They just weren't doing their job.  The nurse and the doctor didn't feel comfortable sending me home.  They decided that if I wanted to go home, I needed to take vistrail to see if it would calm the contractions, slow them down and let my uterus rest to prevent rupture.  They would monitor me and see if they could feel comfortable in a few more hours sending me home.  Or, I could stay, without the meds and see what my body did.

I opted for the medicine.  My thought process was, if the contractions aren't doing anything, I don't want to spend hours upon hours longer in pain just to have a cesarean due to lack of progress.  We could go home, wait for it to start again and try then. 

At 3:45 AM, the nurse returned.  I had fallen asleep a bit prior and knew the contractions were slowing and were now closer to 10 minutes apart.  Which, for the purpose of going home, was a good thing.  She checked me again, we were both hopeful that maybe, just maybe there was a change.  There wasn't.  She said she could feel her head bouncing off of her finger, but my cervix had not dilated any further.

We picked up Kaitlyn and went home.  I was so groggy I couldn't keep my eyes open.

It's starting to look more and more like we're going to end up with a cesarean this time around.  I am still having contractions, but not nearly anything like last night, but she hasn't moved down any further so I'm not too hopeful.  All that matters is she's here and she's healthy.