Friday, July 27, 2012


I love Chick-Fil-A. I love their food, their iced tea, how friendly the employees are to kids, the positive they bring to a community and how the treat their employees.

I support marriage. Not just traditional marriage. I support two consenting adults deciding they want to be married and doing so. I support staying married. I support strong families. I do not think the government should be in the business of handling marriage. Be it a man and a woman, two women or two men, I believe the government should issue civil unions and marriages should be left between the couple and their church or their God. End of story.

But, the government insists on not only handling marriages but also insists that they know what is best for everyone in the country and actually have the audacity to decide who can and who cannot be married. How is it any if their business who you decide to share eternity with?

Freedom of speech is one of the amendments that makes the US great. And everyone supports that freedom, until they hear something you don't want to hear.

Recently a fire storm of news reports came out accusing CFA of being "anti-gay" because of how the CEO chose to spend some of their funds. While it is my personal belief that it is bad for businesses to get involved with politics, they have that right. And, there are consequences to that right.

As a consumer, you have the right to spend your money where you chose and if you feel that a company is spending it's profits in a way you disagree with, you should consider not patronizing that establishment. But, you should do it based on facts. The fact is, CFA isn't anti-gay. They proudly employee and serve all people, regardless of their race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, marital status and so on.

Personally, I find the Boy Scouts and their recent actions far more offensive. Locally, a man was terminated from camp, without a single previous infraction against him, who was loved by those that attended, after he came out of the closet. He had been a lifelong boy scout. Several other employees made the choice to walk out with him. Good for them I say.

When it comes down to it, as individuals, we have the right to boycott wherever we want to for whatever reason we find important to us. Local government does not have the right to interfere with businesses because of the practices they support with their own profits. I'm sure that if a town had a mayor that was very "anti-gay marriage" and forbid Starbucks from doing business in the local limits because of how they spend their dollars we'd all be in an uproar about it!

I also believe it is really important to look at a company as a whole. CFA has regularly been the first to respond to tragedies by feed first responders, those who have had natural disasters wipe out their entire towns and so on. They don't respond with just money, they physically show up with hot food, prayers, good thoughts and warm wishes. I wish more companies did that.

Samantha's Disimpaction

Nothing about that title sounds fun. And it isn't.

For Samantha's procedure, she had a 2 day prep time. Wednesday she had her "last meal" before it was time for the first treatment of magnesium citrate to try and loosen things up. Wednesday was easy.

Thursday was pure torture. Thursday was a "Clear Liquid Diet" day. Guess who did not like this? She did awesome until about 12:30. Once it was time for lunch, she wanted NOTHING to do with jello or juice. She wanted milk, cheese, pickles, anything. She cried. And cried. And threw jello. And threw a Popsicle. And knocked over some chicken broth. And cried.

I ended up basically holding her until 4:30 while she cried that she was hungry. We watched Cailou. I couldn't eat anything, obviously, put her down to use the restroom, help Kaitlyn get ready or accomplish the things I wanted to do. By 5, it was time to take Kaitlyn to cheer. Samantha was starting to fall asleep in the car, so after we dropped Kaitlyn off, I drove her around to get gas so we wouldn't have to do it this morning, and as soon as she fell asleep I took my butt to Taco Bell and scarfed down some food as she slept.

We went to pick Kaitlyn up at cheer and got there a few minutes early. I was hoping she would stay asleep, but she had other plans. She woke up as soon as I stopped the car. She cried. She kept saying she was hungry. It was heartbreaking. There wasn't anything I could do but offer the things she did not want. A little girl watching her brother practice called her crying annoying. I may have shot her a look.

After practice, and Kaitlyn finding out she made the team, we headed to Dusty's parents to drop Kaitlyn off. The surgery center asks that you not bring siblings, and considering that we had to be there by 6 and it took both of us to help Samantha, it worked out best that she had a sleepover with her cousin at her Nana and Papa's house.

Samantha cried the whole way home. She basically cried until she went to sleep at 11:30. It was exhausting for all of us.

As soon as she was asleep, I fell asleep. I was beyond tired. It was an emotionally and physically draining day. Not too long after that, Dusty came into the bedroom and the smell woke me up. Archie and Chico were hard at work protecting the yard when they cornered an animal. Chico won't back down from a fight and a skunk is no exception. It didn't end well for our stinky dogs. The smell just from Dusty touching them was horrific.

This morning started with a nice 4:30 AM shower. By 5:30, Samantha was up (on her own) and calling for Mommy, Mommy, Help! I grabbed her and headed to the car. I must have somehow forgotten that we have steps at our front door, missed them and fell on my ankle. Not a good way to start the day.

We arrived at the valet parking right at 6, went inside and wandered around until we found where we should be. Samantha was in a great mood. She loved the kids waiting area, there were fishies painted on the wall and cartoons on the TV. She was not at all thrilled when we were called back into the prep area. We met her nurse. Samantha still wasn't happy. They had a bed set up for her with toys, dolls, books and a special pillow case.

She wouldn't let the nurse do anything really. She was on high alert the entire time. She didn't want her vitals taken, she didn't want to wear the arm band, she didn't want the nurse to even look in her direction. I was ok with the nurse, she was trying really hard and very genuine, until she was explaining the medication they would use for her to "sleep" with and followed up the name by whispering, "you know, the stuff Michael Jackson used." Totally did not need that visual.

When it came time for her IV, they decided to wheel her next to the procedure room so she wouldn't upset the kid next to us.

I suggested using the left arm. She's given blood there before and it went really well. They decided to use the right. I laid on the bed, her on top of me, Dusty and another nurse distracting her with bubbles and songs, and the nurse mentioned above completely blowing her vein as Samantha watched it swell in her arm.

She screamed. Loudly. Passionately. There was no way in hell she was going to let anyone else get close to her. The incredibly kind anesthesiologist came in and told us she wasn't going to let it happen that way again. We could go into the procedure room with Samantha, hold her and she would put in the IV and then immediately administer the medication. She would fall asleep in 30 seconds and hopefully not remember it at all.

This time, Dusty held her. Distraction was not an option and there was no way I could control her this time with a belly in the way, not with how she was fighting it.

They tried her right hand. Blew the vein. Blood was everywhere. They tried again, she was asleep about 15 seconds later. We kissed her as she slept and went to the waiting area.

About 15 minutes later, the doctor came out. She had pictures from the colonoscopy for us to keep as souvenirs. (yuck) Her exact words were: "There was a lot of poop. A lot. of. poop." We were worried that because of her x-rays and symptoms that she just had one main "piece" of impacted stool, it would be broken down and removed. BUT, it would also mean that the colon would be stretched out and take time to get back to normal. Fortunately for her, it was not just one piece, it was spread out through the colon. Which means that while the first 24 hours of recovery are tougher, there is more gas, cramping and overall fussiness, BUT, it also means that her colon is perfect. No stretching, no wider spots, nothing to heal, perfectly healthy. We have the before and after pictures to prove it.

We immediately went to be next to Samantha, who was sleeping better than she probably has since birth. It took about 15 minutes for her to start to wake up, she wanted daddy. And she heard the words juice and crackers. She absolutely wanted those. She drank 2 juice boxes before we left 10 minutes later and 2 packs of crackers were demolished. On the way home, she wanted french fries. The fact that it was only 9 AM was not a reason in her mind not to go. Luckily, Jack in the Box serves lunch all day.

Most of the day has been going back and forth between being super happy, eating, drinking, playing, laughing at the dogs taking baths, annoyed, sleepy, hyper and everything in between. By tomorrow, they say she should be an entirely different kid. She was down to 23 lbs today, (10th percentile) so hopefully she'll start packing those pounds on.

We will continue with miralax for probably another 6 months so she gets used to her stools being soft and comfortable. After that we would have the go ahead to start potty training if we chose. It is not at all advised to start before then and could cause another blockage. We may even wait until she's nearly 3 based on the new research that has come out encouraging postponing.

I'm beyond ready for bed, the dogs are bathed and the stinky skunk smell is out of the house. Yay!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Adios Summer

This is how I feel.

School starts back on August 9. August 7 is the welcome back ice cream social. Between now and then, I feel like we have a gazillion things to do before then and it's going to be here tomorrow.

Kaitlyn had her yearly eye exam today. Her initial tests showed perfect vision. No problems or hesitations. We talked some about her headaches and he suggested a different type of dilation. It doesn't wear off as easily as what they have used before, but it's more effective. After dilation, her vision was not so perfect and showed an underlying prescription.

She needed a 1.75+ prescription. However, her eyes are working hard to give her perfect vision, and we want to try and keep them trying to correct her vision in hoping it will eventually correct itself. So, we are going to do a prescription that isn't quite as strong, and only use it for reading and homework or classwork. After a year, we'll reevaluate. Unless, she keeps getting migraines and then we'll see what works for her.

Tomorrow is not going to be a fun day around here. Samantha wakes up begging for two things, milk and poptarts. Poptarts can usually be traded out for cereal, oatmeal, bagels, toast or anything and I think poptarts is just her word for breakfast.

Because she is having her fecal disimpaction on Friday, tomorrow is a clear fluid only day. All day. Only jello, juice, water and broth. She is NOT going to like it. I can easily say she is going to hate it. We're going to try and go in the morning for me to finish up some work and Kaitlyn to pick out her glasses, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Kaitlyn has her last day of cheer camp tomorrow night as well. AND, it's when she finds out if she made the team.

Friday, we need to have Samantha at the hospital by 6 AM for check-in with a 7:30 procedure. We should hopefully be on our way home by 11. Hopefully she does well with the anesthesia and bounces back easily.

Saturday is uniform fitting for Kaitlyn if she made the team. Her fingers are crossed!

Next week is our last week to catch up with friends before her last weekend before school. Kaitlyn REALLY wants to do the color run with my sisters on Saturday and Sunday we are celebrating Matthew's fifth birthday. How he would already be 5 is beyond me and I'm sure I'll share all my feelings soon.

Tuesday is our anniversary and next big ultrasound, followed by ice cream night. Wednesday is manicures and pedicures and the last night of freedom before getting back to the the school schedule.

Kaitlyn has all her new clothes and shoes, back pack and lunch box and desperately wants her glasses to be here before she starts school.

Can you believe there is exactly 5 months left until Christmas!?!?!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

18 weeks pregnant

"Nothing worth having is easy."

Ain't that the truth!

In just a couple weeks, we will be halfway to our due date. It feels like time is both racing by and going at the slowest possible rate. This is easily the hardest pregnancy I've had. Yes, even compared to Matthew. At least I had the ability to be naive, and there was only a week or two where I worried about whether or not I would get to viability. And, there was only one pregnancy complication that I had to deal with.

This time, it seems like it's one thing after another. I'm much more tired, I have a hard time feeling a lot of kicks, which leads me to believe that the stubborn placenta has not shifted as the uterus grows. I'm dizzy all the time, still battling nausea every day and I seriously have reflux so bad that it makes me dread eating.

But, in 5 months, I'm going to wonder how it could have went so fast. I'm going to look back and thing "it wasn't that bad." And I'm going to marvel over a little princess.

Samantha on the other hand, I'm not sure how she is going to handle it. Her and Kaitlyn both show a lot of tendencies of jealousy when it comes to one getting attention, even if it's just from Archie or Chico. At least Kaitlyn is old enough to have a discussion with and reason with.

We have nearly everything we need for the baby already. Our shopping list is pretty short. In the next couple weeks (probably after Kaitlyn goes back to school) I am going to go and test drive some double strollers. I know it's going to be hard. I finally found the absolutely perfect single stroller for our family and I know there isn't a chance in the world I'll find a double stroller that is so light and easy to steer. I've started gathering things I need to work on the projects I'm going to make for her. If I gather enough energy, I might even include photos and tutorials as I work on them. ;)

I haven't taken a single belly shot. But, I feel like I look ginormous. I figure I'll start them in a couple weeks. :)

Until then, only 2 more weeks until our next Ultrasound. Only 149 days until the last possible day we'll deliver (39w3d, December 21), 152 days until we hopefully bring her home (I'm hoping for quick recovery and going home on Christmas Eve!), and 153 days until Christmas and her due date!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Chosing a name...

This time around, we seem to be having trouble choosing a name.

Kaitlyn's first name was picked within a couple of days of finding out she was a girl, her middle name picked a few weeks later. After finding out she was a girl, I was determined to have a name! We went straight from the ultrasound appointment to Rite Aid where I picked up two of those 100,000+ and 30,000+ baby name books. We went through nearly that whole entire book before we had a name we could both agree on! Of course, the middle name was a lot harder. We chose Reagan shortly after former president Ronald Reagan passed away.

Matthew's name was decided on within a couple of days of discovering he was a he. I had a list of 10 names I loved. There were two Dusty didn't hate. He had a list of names he liked. We both had Matthew on our list and that was that. His middle name was the other name on my list he didn't throw out the window as fast as I could say it. It was easy.

Samantha was probably the easiest of them all. Dusty has had that name picked out since he was 12. I told him before we found out she was a girl that if it was a girl, he could have his Samantha Anne. Well, I think he meant Ann, but I like the added E, so that was my input.

This time, it hasn't been easy.

We've narrowed it down to two first names we both like: Charlotte and Penelope. We both have names that we like that the other doesn't love (me: Emily and Emma, him: Sarah and Allison). We both have middle names that we like, but nothing that we love. I have yet to hear a name that screams to me: That's it! Despite going through thousands and thousands of names. It has me half tempted to randomly pull letters out of a hat and invent our own name. Kaitlyn has made some suggestions: Carly, Victoria, Jeanette, Kat and Miranda are all the "real" names she's offered. Of course, there have been many more she offered that are not actually names and are rather things a child and adult would be tortured with as a name...

We've known she's a she for nearly a month. And at this point, she might just be named "Baby" with how far we're getting. Boy is it frustrating. I think it would be less frustrating if I wasn't anxious to order new Christmas stockings, or new wall decals with names on them for Samantha and the baby's room. Or, if I wasn't going to deliver in less than 5 months...

Any suggestions? What are your favorite names?

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Where is the year going?

It's absolutely insane to me that we are already halfway through July! Now that a lot of the nausea has passed, I swear it feels like he days are passing at triple speed. 3 weeks from tomorrow Kaitlyn will start the third grade. Including this year, she only has three more before she graduates to junior high! How???

Both Kaitlyn and Samantha will be celebrating their birthdays in 4 months. I'm worried time will keep flying by, and as my belly expands, I will get even more uncomfortable. So, I've been proactive. Both girls have their invitations ready for their parties and all the decorations are ordered and on the way to our house. We're really simplifying the parties this year. They will have them on their birthday days, Samantha is having a Very Hungry Caterpillar party on Friday night and 8 days later Kaitlyn will have her Monster High sleepover. Kaitlyn is very excited for both. I'm sure Samantha is just excited for cake.

Matthew's birthday is also right around the corner. His fifth birthday is Monday, August 6 and we will be celebrating with our yearly balloon release at the cemetery on Sunday, August 5 at 11:00 am. If you'd like to join us, let us know so we can be sure we have enough balloons and such. Matthew's birthday is something Kaitlyn looks forward to every year. She thinks it's a fun for him to look down on us and be a part of his birthday party when the balloons get to Heaven. Samantha doesn't understand and it might be another year or two before she gets it.

Samantha is growing like crazy. She knows how to break our hearts. When I put her down for a nap, she cries and throws in a "mommy, help, pease!" and at bed time she does the same to Dusty after he puts her down, "Dada, help pease.". She knows what she wants and isn't afraid to scream a defeating no if it's something she doesn't want or throw a hysterical fit to get her way. When she wants to poop, she demands a fresh diaper first. She knows where the cookies and pop tarts are and that just happens to be her favorite cupboard. She is quickly on her way to the fabulous, terrible twos.

Kaitlyn is very excited for school to start. She has made it clear that she really, really wants to see her friends. Her school is having an ice cream social a couple days before that she is looking forward to. Cheerleading practice starts in less than two weeks and it looks like she is going to be a busy bee.

We've hit 17 weeks in our pregnancy. The little one is growing wonderfully. Her heartbeat is really strong and once in a while I can feel the flutter of movement. It looks like the blood clot is possibly gone. Of course, it's hard to tell because my placenta is being stubborn and instead of hanging out at the top of my uterus, hanging out at the bottom, completely covering my cervix and the front of my uterus, making it difficult to get a good look with ultrasound. It also means I get to keep taking it easy, limit my walking and minimize any lifting over 10 pounds(Samantha does not like this!), as well as trying to physically keep my feet elevated. I received my first p17 shot last week and have my next tomorrow. We have our "big" ultrasound on our anniversary this year. 3 weeks from yesterday we will celebrate 8 years of marriage! It's feels like it was just yesterday and a lifetime ago all at the same time.

Life has been good. Peaceful. Things are so much easier without constant drama and gossip. I feel fortunate we took the steps to remove it from our lives. Without having to spend so much energy on things that really don't matter we have so much more energy and time to focus on the things that do.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

A Drama Queen in the making

I think that's what we're dealing with. I think this little one is determined to be the center of attention, she must know what she is up against because she is determined to keep me off my feet and in my bed for the next 6 months.

It started with a migraine on Friday. A dizzying migraine that after some caffeine and tylenol was tolerable. It included minimal vomiting, which is normal for me right now anyways, so I can't really blame it on the headache for sure.

Well, that turned into being super nauseous when I went to bed that night. I tossed and turned all night, and felt super dehydrated. But, even sipping water had me throwing up, so I had a feeling that the next day I would end up at least taking a visit to the hospital to get something to make the pain and the vomiting stop. I figured we could all keep sleeping for now though and wait until the afternoon.

Well, at about 6 in the morning, I had to go to the restroom and there was blood. A lot of it, with some clots mixed in. With the girls still asleep, we decided Dusty would stay home and I would drive to the nicer, albeit a little further, ER to get everything checked out.

An u/s showed a healthy little baby, still measuring a week ahead (the ER doctor thinks we should change the due date, but unless I ovulated the day after my menstrual cycle started, it would be off, she's just growing well), her hand still above her head while she sleeps. And while her ankles weren't crossed during this u/s, the umbilical cord was hanging out in the middle of her legs. We didn't bother trying to verify the sex, because it really doesn't matter and I was just glad to see the healthy blood flow to the umbilical cord.

My urinalysis showed an infection, blood work showed dehydration, and I needed a rhogam shot for the bleeding. I was given the option of staying over night to get an IV of fluids, or going home with antibiotics and zofran and strict orders to stay in bed and do NO lifting until at least Tuesday when I start p17. I chose going home.

The day continued with the misery of wanting to puke nonstop and my head pounding. Today is a little better, but we're only a couple hours in the making. Here's hoping it improves!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Miller Baby 2012 Ultrasound Video

The video from yesterday's ultrasound.

It's A...


A baby with a big head (measuring 5 days ahead!), 2 arms, 2 legs, little hands and a desire to sleep with one arm above it's head and one hand under it's chin.

Yesterday, my sisters and mom threw me a party with close friends and family to celebrate my 30th birthday.  Because we weren't exactly sure when we would get back from our trip to DC, yesterday was the day!

Earlier in the day, Dusty and I went to have an elective ultrasound to determine if we would be having a baby girl or a baby boy this time around.  After the ultrasound, I called my sister who filled the birthday cupcakes with a color to compliment what the ultrasound showed.

Kaitlyn has been asking nonstop what we were having.  After dinner, she got to take the first bite and tell everyone the color inside.

The inside was pink!  We're having another little girl, another princess to sew dresses for and stick bows in her hair.

It was a little bit of a shock.  I was thinking it was likely  boy, I mean, girl pregnancies have never given me so many complications from day one!  But, obviously this little one is going to be even more stubborn than the other two.

We've already been asked if we'll try again for a boy or if we're disappointed.  The answers are no and no.  My doctor has already strongly recommended a tubal for health reasons after this pregnancy, and I've agreed. I would never bring another child in the world under the hopes they are a different sex than than what we're currently raising.  And what's to be disappointed in?  We have a son.  While it would be wonderful to have the opportunity to raise a son, there are far more important things to worry about than if your baby will be wearing blue or pink.

My only irrational fear involves Kaitlyn.  I thought if we were having a boy, it would limit her being left out.  She would have the sister bond with Samantha and the new baby would have the age bond with Samantha.  So, everyone would have a special bond.  But, I know that in non hormone world, that's a silly fear.  And completely unfounded.

So far, the names we're considering are Charlotte and Penelope.  But, neither are in stone and we are thinking about others as well.