Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Over the past few months I have come to terms with the fact that there is true evil in the world. There are people who will make any and every attempt to tear down anyone they believe might have something positive going just because they don't have it in their life.
I am not exactly a religious person. I do not know what I believe in regards to god and the role he/she does/doesn't play in our lives. Sometimes I think that if I were to accept religion I may be able to deal with evil people much better. Then I could say, "It's god's plan" or "God will judge them therefore I do not need to" However, I don't feel comfortable thinking that way since I do not know if I necessarily believe that.
I recently took one of those myspace surveys. "what religion are you" and was surprised by some of the questions. One of the questions has sat on my mind ever since. The question basically asked "Do you believe that people are evil?" followed by "Do you believe that people do evil things out of weakness?" I have to say, I believe both.
From experience I know that there are evil people in this world. People that I wouldn't trust to not step on a puppy dog if it was in the way of what they wanted. At the same time I believe that some of the things evil people do is out of weakness.
Revenge is sweet. I LOVE and live for revenge. I think revenge is one of the greatest gifts we have. We have this power to turn on those that have hurt us and hurt them back in rage and hostility. That doesn't mean revenge is a good thing. Revenge gives you such a euphoric high, a feeling of satisfaction and that feeling that you are the victor.
Well, I'm a mom now. I love my little girl and would never do anything to cause her to think less of me. I constantly find myself thinking "would I want Kaitlyn to do this" before I act. So, Revenge is something that I try not to practice. Revenge is the weak way out. It is far harder to sit back and ignore the evil bitterness of others and to not respond to their childish antics.
Life isn't always easy. Sometimes you face really hard choices. At the end of the day, I am really proud of myself for I took the road far less traveled. I am riding along on the rocky trail so Kaitlyn doesn't have to fight this battle when she's older. Sure revenge would be awesome, and giving in and playing nice would be easier, but I'm not that easily broken. I may be evil, but I'm not weak.
Anywho, a quick update! Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. I am now officially 24 and 3 days old. I don't feel a day over 30 though. Kaitlyn is doing awesome. She is always suprising me! Dusty is doing pretty good. He joined a second softball team and really seems to enjoy it which is nice. We go out and cheer him on whenever we can!
Hugs and Kisses!